By Craig Rosen

Yesterday I left you with the issue of stereotyping that many of us fall into when talking about boys and girls/men and women. and I promised to pick up where I left off…

Well today at the Symposium we were all challenged to pick apart those stereotypes and to open our minds to new ideas and ways to think in terms of boys and girls. We had some fascinating speakers and some great workshops and most here at the Symposium will be able to bring these insights back home to their communities and implement new ideas.

Rabbi Jan Katzew, Director of the Dept of Lifelong Learning began the morning with a Shehechiyanu. As you may remember from my posting yesterday, our scheduled keynote Dr. William Pollack was not able to be with us in person, but he did send along some text for us to study together. Rabbi Katzew challenged us to engage Dr. Pollack through his texts and to hear his perspective and grapple with it. In hevruta study (and a cup of Starbucks) my friend Lori Daitch and I used Dr. Pollack’s words and engaged in dialogue.

Here is the passage we studied;

· “Boys feel deeply conflicted about what is expected of them as males in American society.

· As they grow older, the inner conflict that boys feel about masculinity exacerbates and they feel compelled to hide their confusion by acting more self-confident than they truly feel.

· Boys have grave concerns about growing up to be men; they overwhelmingly see manhood as filled with unrewarding work, isolation from friends and family, unhappiness, and disappointment,

· And, despite the outward appearance they often give of being cheerful and contented, many boys of all ages feel deep feelings of loneliness, alienation, and disconnection from adults.”

I was actually very disturbed by Dr. Pollack’s account of boys but understand where he is coming from. As a male educator, I definitely see some of these traits in the boys that I work with. The questions we should consider are:

How do our institutions relate to these findings? Do they perpetuate them? Do they counter them? Please post any feedback you may have to Dr. Pollack’s words.

Another featured speaker was Rabbi Elliot Rose Kukla who was recently ordained from HUC JIR in Los Angeles and also came out as a transgender person. He and Gregg Drinkwater, executive director of Jewish Mosaic, the National Center for Sexual & Gender Diversity presented a workshop on Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgender (GLBT) issues that we should be thinking about in terms of education in our schools. Rabbi Kukla presented some ideas for us to consider in creating welcoming classrooms and inclusive lesson plans.

Among the ideas shared include the idea of avoiding “opposites,” especially in teaching Hebrew. When we focus on abba and emma or breaking the group into boys and girls we open ourselves to shunning those students who may have two moms or a single father. We are also forcing students into one category of gender while some students may be struggling with who they are….by being mindful of our language and by offering inclusive language, we are saying to those students – we value and welcome you as who you are. Another idea we are to consider is not to make assumptions about our students’ family structure or background. We cannot assume that all of our students were born Jewish or that their parents were born Jewish. Nor should we assume that all of our students have two parents. Making assumptions can and most often times lead to further problems down the road. Family tree exercises could also ostracize those who may not be from a “traditional” family. We must be cautious and sensitive and most importantly welcoming so that our students feel supported and loved.

Other speakers included Deborah Meyer, founder and Director of Moving Traditions, and Doug Barden, executive director of the Men of Reform Judaism. Both had some engaging words to share. There were also many other workshops presented. Of course the learning never ends at these Conferences – hallway discussions and informal table talk extends the conversation well beyond what the speakers are presenting. My hope is that the conversation continues beyond the hallways and back into our communities so that we can all explore some of these very important ideas and implement some of what our speakers have shared!

We conclude tomorrow – stay tuned to see where we go next!!