Addressing Mentor Gaps in Synagogue Leadership through Engaging 20-Somethings
August 2, 2011 
8 Comments
by Rabbi Wendi Geffen
Much of the 20-30 year old Jewish population described instudies finds the synagogue unappealing because, in their minds, it translates toan institutional culture that previously proved unable to address their variedneeds/beliefs/values as individuals. Assuch, not only is the future of synagogue affiliation a problem, but the dearthof an enduring line of synagogue leadership proves, in many ways, an evenlarger obstacle. In early 2011, NorthShore Congregation Israel (NSCI) in suburban Chicago was awarded a URJIncubator Grant to create a program to address these challenges. B&B (Beyond and Back) is NSCI’s multi-facetedvalues and leadership development program for Jewish 22-30 year olds. The B&B leadership track not onlyconnects participants to their Jewish identity and the synagogue, but mentorspotential Jewish leaders for the future as well.
Today, it seems many of our 20-somethings experiencesomewhat of an identity crisis. Theygenerally do not identify as their own family unit, seeing themselves more as”young” than as “adult”, but not fitting in to either category completely. They are likely single or in relationships,but are not yet married and do not yet have their own children. Most of their Jewish experiences have placedthem on the “receiving” end of synagogue offerings and services, and therefore,their view of themselves as “young” rather than “adult” holds in relation to thesynagogue as well.
B&B addresses this issue by offering a comprehensivespiritual identity and leadership development program combined with realopportunities for the target population to reconnect with the synagogue,specifically through our youth programs department. A small corps of individuals, many whom benefited from NSCI youth programs whilegrowing up, were selected to be in the first B&B Leadership cohort. NSCI holds two annual high school”identity-development” retreats previously led by our parent-age leaderpopulation. We have shifted the leadershipto our young adult population, training the cohort in advance of the retreats,as well as empowering them to facilitate most of the programs. The20-somethings are paid a stipend for their time missed from work on theretreats (our retreats begin on Thursday evenings or Friday mornings), but notfor their involvement in the training sessions leading up to or weekend time onthe retreats. We teach these young adults the value of contributing back to thesynagogue, by giving time and money, in a safe and non-threatening way. This has been a powerful opportunity for thecohort to be placed directly in the position of being Jewish role-models forour high school population in a significant and compelling way. This has allowed our young adults todemonstrate to our teenagers that one can maintain a fulfilling connectionafter high school, college, and leaving the nest. The teens responded with overwhelmingacceptance and interest. Besidesdeveloping close personal relationships with the “B&B”ers, many have sincecommented that they hope to be a “B&B”er when they are older. Whereas it proved difficult for ahigh-schooler to visualize themselves as someone their parent’s age, it proves not only easy, but moreimportantly, readily meaningful for themto see themselves as a young adult. Additionally,the program has helped our young professionals gain profound, “feel-good” Jewish experiences as the drivers, not the driven. They get the opportunity to give back to thatfrom which they gained so much in their younger years, and in doing so, feelthey have received even more. They gainextensive Jewish knowledge by learning how to teach it and doing so. Additionally, facilitated conversation timewas set aside for the young adults and the parent-leaders to engagetogether. The young adults heard storiesfrom the older leaders about their lives, choices, commitments, and spiritualidentities. The older leaders heard thesame from the young adults and then shared questions/comments ranging from veryspecific, yet often unaddressed topics, like “how much tzedakah do youcontribute annually as a family,” to more general questions about personaltheologies. The two populations wereable to get to know each other on a more familiar, friendly level, and as such,the young adults were able to better seethemselves as “adults” rather than “big kids.”
Through the program,teenagers have seen a future Jewish path for themselves after college connectedwith a congregation, and the young adults are able to visualize what theirinvolvement might look like through dialogue with established leaders in thecommunity.
Rabbi Wendi Geffen isan associate rabbi at North Shore Congregation Israel in Glencoe, IL where she has served for 10 years.
Obviously, since this has been an incubator program, there are no measurements yet for long-term outcomes. But one of the interesting things that differentiates the NSCI program from most of the outreach programs we read about to the young adult community is that it is multi-generational rather than totally peer-oriented.
And that leads me to wonder in what other ways the young adults are being connected to the congregation, and what kind of Jewish leadership career paths this program opens for them.
Hi Larry — one of the more interesting short term results of the program is that many of this year’s B&B leadership participants now attend shabbat services more often (some weekly or bi-weekly), some are working in or even heading up our junior high and high school religious school programs for next year, and some were invited to sit on the Bima and have an honor during one of our High Holy Day services for 5772. The idea is to continue offering various opportunities so we/they don’t lost momentum.
The long term results will certainly be interesting to see one day.
Akiva taught in Talmud that one is still considered young (na’ar) until they are 30. Gamliel taught the age was 25.
So, in fact, people in their 20′s are not only being reasonable, but also are traditionally warranted, when considering themselves young.
Some of those in the older generation might take that to note when shaping your views on the “adultness” of people my age. I’m 25.
That being said:
In Torah, the age for being taken for the Census was 20. There are other notions in the tradition of when a Jewish person enters “adulthood”. Some people point to 13, and the Bar/Bat Mitvah. Others say it isn’t until marriage, no matter the age.
But I’m going to go with the Census for now. At 20, you are counted as an adult member of the community, like it or not.
So. Young adults in Judaism, aged 20-30, shouldn’t feel completely defined by either young or adult. That’s because they are both, they are a young adult, which is it’s own stage of life entirely.
It’s the age where people are supposed to have identity crisis’s. It’s what we do (I’m 25). Further, anyone in this hyper-face paced, crazy internet fantasy land we suddenly find our lives dominated by in the span of a decade, is liable to have a bit of an identity crisis. Especially those who never knew the slower days, and have only experienced the ever increasing speed, the ever expanding net.
One thing my generation needs is to be told is to slow down. To be told that we do not need to grow up so fast. That it is too soon for us to settle down, to choose our place, within a revolutionizing world. We will find our way. The wild energy we have will get us there, and will allow us to enjoy it, joy being something this world needs now.
And we’ll be old enough to say- that’s what I’m doing. That’s the start of my adulthood. Picking my place in the world as a searcher, a wanderer. A nomad. And thankfully we have this book and tradition that is a pretty good guide for Nomads.
I think if the older generation remembers that- remembers where they were, truly remembers, when they were our age. They’ll understand that, and once understanding that, they’ll understand us. And the advice they start giving, the stories they tell, will be relevant and helpful to us. And slow us down.
Which is why I think the program discussed here is a good idea.
Anyways.
In addition to Rabbi Geffen’s comments why young adults find synagogue so unappealing, I would like to add the following:
After going through years of Hebrew school (which means getting up early on a Sunday morning and giving up 1/2 of their weekend), where classes are sometimes being taught by outright boring teachers, they are turned off by everything that has to do with synagogue.
In addition, the sometimes overblown expectations of the religious committees as to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah combined with their Hebrew school experiences can turn younsters off for good.
The initiative by NSCI is commendable nevertheless and I wish this community every success.
Well, I’m a 20-something (okay just 20) and I think my generation tends to consciously rebel against, or just avoid, whatever cultural institutions, socio-religious structures, and ideas that our parents’ generation took for granted and without question. The synagogue is one of them. They are pushing leadership to consider alternatives to the standard synagogue culture to keep up with fast-paced lifestyles, but religion, in my opinion, can’t do that. It can be flexible and accommodating within reason, but there are limits to the malleability of its structures. I, for one, like the structure of traditional organized religion and synagogue culture, precisely because it provides a foil for my hectic, modern life. I don’t want my synagogue to come into my living room through digital media, and I definitely don’t want my synagogue to look and feel like my living room. Also, as someone preparing to enter the adult world, I REALLY don’t want my synagogue’s music and ambiance to remind me of my days at camp, sitting around the fire with a guitar! I don’t believe in total compartmentalization between religious and secular, formal and informal, or business and personal, but there is definitely some wisdom in Kohelet’s assertion that there is an appropriate time and place for everything. I think the synagogue fits in there somewhere, and if it is to be fit in, I hope that it isn’t squeezed too hard.
The program at NSCI is a good idea, but judging by some of the opinions and preferences of people my age, I fear that the ideas and changes that will emerge from such creative initiatives might erode the sanctity of the institution of the synagogue. As Larry Kaufman likes to say, “Vox populi, vox Dei”.
I agree with Mr. Stuhler, though, that something should be done about the nightmarish Hebrew School and Religious School experiences that threaten to put people off Judaism for good–I was almost lost to the Faith myself.
While I’m always sorry to hear about people who had stultifying experiences in religious school, that topic at best is not germane to Rabbi Geffen’s program, which taps young adults who want to find a Jewish spiritual/social community, but feel excluded from our existing hierarchical structures.
I’m puzzled by Jordan’s fear that innovative programming like NSCI’s might somehow erode the sanctity of the institution of the synagogue. Perhaps this is an outgrowth of his predilection for Classical Reform, where The Rabbi was The Authority Figure, and the empowerment of lay people consisted in letting them participate in responsive readings.
I’m even more puzzled by Mr. Struhler’s reference to overblown expectations for b’nai mitzvah. It seems to me that the overblown expectations are out in the community, where the bar/t mitzvah is judged by the lavishness of the party and the extravagance of the goody bag.
Let’s not lose sight of who is being served in the NSCI program: a congregation of the willing. The members of the youth group have stuck around after their b’nai mitzvah; and the young adults have come back after college. Presumably the congregation does something right beyond this program!
As a co-founder of Netzer Olami, the International Reform Zionist Youth movement, of which NFTY is a member, a former central eductaional Shaliach to the URJ and Israeli Reform Jew, it has been my privilege to work with many Reform participants on LIFE, our nine-month post-college leadership development program in Israel and India. Combining tailor-made professional internships, learning and training, the program addresses many of the issues raised in this post and comments. Applications are open till end August, 2011 for young adults who might want to apply: http://www.LIFEprogram.org. Yonatan Glaser, Jerusalem
I will be very interested to see how this program turns out in the long run. I am curious though, about the structure of the program. It seems mainly focused on getting adults to engage young adults, who in turn encourage teens to become active young adults. I really admire the effort to get a range of ages working together on this project. Will this top-down approach (working with the age group directly below you) always be the approach of the program? I would be a bit worried that in the long run, it would just create age-based leadership barriers, where young adults are kind of stuck in roles mentoring teens until they are old enough to branch into other areas of synagogue leadership. Are there other plans (currently implemented but not mentioned here or in the works) to give young adults other leadership opportunities beyond teen engagement? I understand teen engagement is an important piece of the program to keep the next generation engaged, so I hope I don’d sound like I’m belittling that aspect.
Shabbat Shalom!