Beyond the Purim Shpiel – Creating Purim Memories at Home with your Mishpacha!

I just had the absolute pleasure of staffing a Taglit-Kesher trip to Israel, as part of the URJ’s Birthright program. The Birthright experience is a 10-day whirlwind of education and activity providing a “taste of Israel” to North American Jews (ages 18-26) who have never before visited Israel on a peer-educational trip. One of my goals as the “madrichah” (educational guide) on the trip was to present a Judaism that is meaningful and adaptable; something that has value for people at all stages of their life.

It was at one of our sites – in the ancient city of Tzipori – that I could visually see an “aha!” moment occurring before my eyes for my trip participants, as I expanded the “real” and acceptable ways to “practice” Judaism. For some people, the “cultural aspects” of Judaism are sadly swept aside as a somewhat lesser form of Jewish practice. I explained – with pride and a full sense of validity – that I am a “Kitchen Jew”.  Cooking, baking, sifting through cookbooks, shopping for the holidays, making crafts at the kitchen table, and cleaning my cabinets for Passover are very real ways I connect with my Jewish heritage.

Yes, I find fulfillment in prayer and study, but this is only one aspect of how I practice my Judaism. And, truth be told, these are more personal in nature for me. It is through reading and study that I delve deep into the layers of Jewish history and theology. Yet these Jewish practices feel grown-up, ones that I have come to love mostly as an adult. But Judaism is a total experience and I want it to be developmentally-appropriate to all members of my family. Many of the lessons I’ve gleaned about Judaism were from my mother and the hands-on, home-based activities we did together throughout my childhood. My childhood kitchen, perhaps, was a gateway to my adult life as a Jew. And now I am cycling back – as our beautiful holidays allow us to do – to be a mother and teacher with my own children at my side.

There is not a Jewish holiday that comes around that I do not partially practice – and reinforce my own Jewish identity as a cultural Jew – in the kitchen. To me, Mordecai Kaplan was correct when he first stated in 1934 that “Judaism is more than a religion; it is an entire civilization. Not merely religious texts but also language, literature, and even arts and crafts are a part of it.” (Great Jewish Thinkers, Naomi Pasachoff, p. 188)

Kaplan taught that Jews would be drawn to new and exciting forms of Judaism that simultaneously retain “strong ties to the past”. Speaking as a “Kitchen Jew” – Purim provides wonderful opportunities for observing this holiday in addition to making costumes, attending a Purim Shpiel, and buying multitudes of tickets for your children to play games at the Purim Carnival.  Not to put down these activities, for what is Purim without coming home from the Purim Carnival with bags of goldfish soon-to-be-named Vashti and Esther?

For my household, Purim has been the holiday in which I have taken something “traditional” and turned in on its head! It has become the “minhag” (tradition) in my house to make Hamentaschen, but not the kinds you are certainly used to! For my children – No prune! No poppy seed! But rather – new and modern flavors to please even the youngest palette – peanut butter and jelly, Reese’s Peanut Butter cup, Skittle… you name it!  I break out my Hadassah Ladies cookbook and make batches of dough with my children. Though it takes our fingers a few tries to get things just right, we invent new yummy fillings each year. We fold our dough into triangles in the shape of Haman’s funny hat and wait in anticipation as they bake, diving in right away blowing on their sweet insides so we can savor that first bite.

We make sure to bake enough to give away as presents for family, friends and neighbors. We make bags of “Shalach Manot” – fulfilling the mitzvah of bequeathing gifts to our loved ones. Here is yet another tangible opportunity to teach our children the importance of a showing of appreciation and saying “todah” (thanks) to various people in our lives. This becomes an arts-n-crafts project and an act of G’milut Chasadim (acts of loving kindness) rolled into one. Purim gives us the opportunity to observe this holiday at synagogue and at home, in both personal and public ways. Enjoy celebrating this Jewish holiday, fulfilling the many mitzvot Purim provides for us to partake in!

Here is yet another great resource for teaching the youngest members of your household, or for those young at heart, about Purim. Visit “” at to experience a modern-telling of the Purim story. My 7-year old gave this video a “thumbs up” saying “I love that Esther was telling the story!”

If you would like further information about visiting Israel on a Birthright trip with the URJ, please go to:

Originally published in Ten Minutes of Torah.

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Rabbi Vicki Tuckman

About Rabbi Vicki Tuckman

Rabbi Vicki Tuckman is the Rabbi and Director of Jewish Life at URJ Camp Harlam, one of the Reform Movement’s 13 overnight camps, in Kunkletown, PA. In addition, Rabbi Tuckman will begin serving as the spiritual leader for Temple Micah in Lawrenceville, N.J. in the next few months. She and her family are currently proud members of Har Sinai Congregation in Pennington, N.J.

5 Responses to “Beyond the Purim Shpiel – Creating Purim Memories at Home with your Mishpacha!”

  1. avatar

    do you bake sugar-free?

    • Rabbi Vicki Tuckman

      Hmmmmm…. I guess I could! The recipe I have has a cup of sugar per batch!! Plus, the “fillings” tend not to be “sugar free”. Jewish cooking is not always good for the scale!!

  2. avatar

    My 20 year old just returned from her Birthright trip over winter break and said it was “the best two weeks” of her life!

    We put a herseys kiss in our hamentaschen, we are going to try the penut butter and jelly this year!

    • Rabbi Vicki Tuckman

      Lovely to hear about Birthright!! Make sure you tell YOUR friends to send THEIR kids to Israel via Birthright, if they have not visited before on a peer/educational trip! And encourage your daughter to go back to Israel via MASA or TIKKUN OLAM Israel.

      Now the trick is making sure your daughter “translates” her love and excitement of Israel and Birthright, back into an active/meaningful/Jewish life “back here” in the States. The Reform Movement wants the energy of these young people to take RJ to it’s next stage!

      Thanks for your comment!!

  3. avatar

    My favorite flavor is the strawberry, although the peanut butter and jelly one is very tempting. I’ll try to get my Savtah to make them this year! I admittedly still love celebrating Purim with my family (even as a 23 year old), and this year we wrote a poem for’s Facebook page. We’d love to see it published on their website, so feel free to go ‘like’ it! Happy Purim to you all!

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