RJ Blog

Our prayers and hearts are with those whose lives have been so tragically altered by the school shooting today in Newtown, CT. In our tradition, immediately following a death we know that no words of comfort can yet be heard, so we offer instead our presence and our empathy as we honor and try to meet the most immediate needs of the bereaved. The circle of grief, horror, and fear is far wider than those who live in the vicinity; every one of us and every one of our children need support and care at this time. We urge people [...]

Gathering together with family and friends for a Thanksgiving feast of turkey, cranberry sauce and sweet potatoes is a distinctly American way of expressing and experiencing gratitude. Situation comedies, Broadway farces, novels, blog posts and text messages to friends capture and communicate all of the complex emotions that come to the fore when we are forced into intense interaction with family. The more difficult and less comic undercurrent, however, is the anguish we experience when we are asked to feel gratitude when we are grappling with hardship and pain. We may have been displaced from homes by natural disasters or [...]

Finding a middle path that allows us to savor life fully while also cultivating spiritual, emotional, and physical health is central to Jewish tradition. Perhaps the clearest expression of this Jewish approach to finding balance was articulated by the great Jewish thinker and physician Moses Maimonides (1135–1204), who taught that through study and cultivation of new actions and ways of thinking, each of us can be elevated to “walk in God’s ways.” Maimonides advocated the pursuit of a middle path in which one is “neither…easily angered” nor, like the dead, “does not feel.”

Shabbat Shuvah is the Sabbath between Rosh HaShanah and Yom Kippur. The name is derived from the opening word of the haftarah reading that urges us: Shuvah Yisrael ad Adonai Elohecha, “Return, O Israel, to the Eternal your God.” What does that mean to you? To whom or what might you be returning? Is it to a sense of goodness? Is it to a sense of being loved? Is it to a commanding and guiding Presence? Is it to a God who will punish you for your misdeeds and reward you for your right action? Is it a return to [...]

Congregations can help reduce the number of suicides and lead people who struggle with depression toward help when we teach our youth, youth group leaders and parents how to monitor and respond to despairing text messages, Facebook postings and tweets. People of all ages can experience severe depression, and probably one in five adults or teens in our congregations are suffering from a psychiatric condition at any given time. The unremitting pain of untreated major depression can lead to suicide. And those who have suffered a severe loss, experience of shame or deep disappointment are more prone to an impulsive [...]

Caring Committees are a great beginning but are even more effective when our congregations are communities in which everyone provides care. Some congregations have gotten everyone involved in caring activities by asking each family to volunteer to be available for one or two days each year. They can trade days with another family as necessary, and they can select the ways in which they feel most comfortable helping. Nobody is ever forced to participate, but every family can be asked to offer one or two days when they might deliver a basket to welcome a new baby; bring a meal [...]

“Does she remember it or not, it was not only the first day in her life that she used her umbrella, it was also the first day in her life that she walked alone, without holding either her mother’s or her father’s hand.” –Umbrella by Taro Yashima (1958) This is the conclusion of a book I used to read to my now adult children. The main character, Momo, has been given boots and an umbrella for her third birthday. Each day she longs to use them, but each day the sun is shining. When finally a rainy day comes, she [...]

A “vouchers for taxis” program helps the elderly and disabled get to congregational events. It can also be a tzedakah and teaching opportunity. Many congregations, concerned about liability and volunteer-driver burnout, negotiate with a taxi company to provide transportation to synagogue services and events. This approach allows the elderly and the disabled to participate without being dependent on others’ schedules. Such a program is often funded as a budget item or by specific-use contributions. This program reassures everyone that they will always have a way to get to synagogue events. The logistics are simple. First, work out with a taxi [...]

Within almost every family is a member with a disability. We often think we have few disabled members but that is often because many families and individuals with disabilities feel uncertain about joining a congregation or attending services. These families are more likely to join and stay involved if they are openly welcomed, and if all congregational literature includes mention of accommodations for people with disabilities. Here are some simple, inexpensive and easy steps to take to increase disabilities awareness and inclusion. At a recent disabilities conference, a Reform congregation member who uses a wheelchair explained that the simple step [...]

Baskets to welcome new born babies and newly adopted children delight member families and gently introduce prospective members to our congregations. Baskets can include Jewish children’s books, ritual objects and collections of Jewish lullabies and songs. Donations made to say thank you often cover the expense of creating the baskets. Caring Committee members often create social events during which participants make festive baskets for families welcoming a new life into their midst. Tiny Shabbat candlesticks; colorful mezuzot; literature about programs for parents and children; board books about Jewish holidays; collections of blessings; and readings for children and parents can be [...]

I remember once when a youngster who was a bunkmate at my child’s URJ summer camp was sent home for several weeks for not complying with an important camp rule. The kids had all been together for many years and had ties of friendship that were very strong. They recognized the seriousness of the infraction. Without thinking, I asked my child which child had been sent home. My child answered, “I am not going to tell you that! We all understand that our friend had to go home because the rules are fair but it is a private matter. My [...]

“Sure, we can afford to order pizza for the kids for dinner when I am feeling at my lowest from chemotherapy. We could call Domino’s and in no time there would be a pizza on the table. But my kids already know that Domino’s delivers! I am so grateful that the members of my congregation bring meals for our family. I want my kids to know that our congregation delivers and that they bring much more than food. When I am gone I want them to know for the rest of their lives they can turn to their Jewish community, [...]

Each member of the Sisterhood group had been asked to bring something that expressed or reminded them of their relationship to Judaism and their congregation. A young woman lifted a pair of shining Sabbath candlesticks and explained that these symbolized the friendship and caring she felt as part of her Sisterhood group. They had been presented to her as a gift for serving as an officer of the group. She said she kept them in their beautiful velvet box but did not yet use them. She longed for the day when she would marry and experience the glow of the [...]

As the 10th anniversary of September 11th approaches this weekend, ourreactions will be partially determined by how personally affected we were bythe tragic events. There is a good deal of evidence, though, that all of uswere affected in more subtle ways and are likely to react to the anniversarytoo. Following the terrorist attack on 9/11 many people experienced a shift intheir sense of security that has endured. All of us were deeply moved as weheard the anguish of frantic relatives first searching for news of theirrelatives, followed by searches for remains and then memories and mourning. In these days leading [...]