RJ Blog

Every woman on my mother’s side of the family has died from breast cancer. Each one did everything “right” – yearly mammograms, self and physician check-ups, and, upon diagnosis, the “best doctors,” “best hospitals” and most up-to-date treatments – all to little or no avail. Although my family and I have not been tested, the likelihood is that they carried – and I inherited – the BRCA gene mutation, which means I have a significant risk of developing breast and/or ovarian cancer. What, then, am I to do to increases my chances of never getting breast cancer?

This morning, as I sipped my cup of Relaxed Mind, a Yogi Tea designed to “promote tranquility,” I happened to glance at the saying on the back of the tea bag tag: The purpose of life is to enjoy every moment. Now, the “promote tranquility” promise withstanding, I experienced a strong gut reaction to start arguing with the tea bag. First, I thought, I don’t enjoy every moment of life. No question, my life is filled with blessings, foremost among them being loved by the woman I love and reveling in our shared commitment to express that love to one [...]

“You hurt me.” “I feel betrayed.” “How can I trust you?” As the High Holy Days draw near, questions of morality, goodness, justice, forgiveness began swirling round my psyche and my heart. I got married last May to a woman I love with all my being. We decided to invite only our closest family and friends to the wedding (in the local “Peace Park” bordered by cherry trees) and reception (catered by me in the sunlit home we love). We wished to spend connected, loving time with each of the 22 people who had been most instrumental in our lives. [...]

“Give kavod to your father and your mother; that your days may be long upon the land which Adonai your God gives you.” (Ex. 20:12) This Father’s Day, June 17, 2012, I will give kavod (honor) to my deceased dad by doing something he never would have approved of. Yet, I believe, he would affirm the essence of the act. A month shy of my 48th birthday, I — formerly the kid chosen last for every school and camp sports team of her childhood — will run my first half-marathon. I — who have only four 5Ks (3.1 miles) to [...]

On May 20, 2012 – only 10 days from now! – I will be marrying E., the Jewish woman I love. (I call her E. here because as a therapist, she maintains strict boundaries between her professional and private life.) We will stand under the flowing, stunning, yellow, orange, red, and turquoise chuppah that she designed and painted on silk (a painstakingly challenging design process for a beginner, but that’s another blog post). We will drink from a sparkling, cobalt blue wine goblet that says in Hebrew, “Ani leh-dodee veh-dodee lee,” “I am my beloved’s, and my beloved is mine.” [...]