RJ Blog

by Rabbi Ron Klotz Hoo boy, do I have a lot of kids! Spending thirty-seven years directing a URJ camp brings a lot of children into the family. Do you think I know a lot about parenting? Well, I know a lot about camp directing, and Jewish programming, and conflict resolution, and homesickness and more; but I never thought of myself as an expert in parenting. About eight years ago, our son Jeremy and our daughter-in-law Melissa brought Zoe into the world. Of course grand parenthood presented only wonderful opportunities to my wife and to me. But an unexpected opportunity [...]

by Dana Sheanin It’s not easy being a Jewish educator with a child who hates religious school! I’ll be clear at the outset that I believe my congregation’s religious school is engaging, warm and innovative—but right now it creates stress for my 3rd grade son. Perhaps it’s the extra three hours after the school day. Perhaps it’s that he is an introvert by nature, and really doesn’t like to be in large groups of busy kids. Perhaps it’s that his home life is so Jewishly rich that he is bored by what he gets in the classroom environment (needless to [...]

“Does she remember it or not, it was not only the first day in her life that she used her umbrella, it was also the first day in her life that she walked alone, without holding either her mother’s or her father’s hand.” –Umbrella by Taro Yashima (1958) This is the conclusion of a book I used to read to my now adult children. The main character, Momo, has been given boots and an umbrella for her third birthday. Each day she longs to use them, but each day the sun is shining. When finally a rainy day comes, she [...]

by Jane West Walsh, EdD, R.J.E Good parenting is complex and challenging. Good step-parenting is differently complex and challenging. My step-son Ben made the decision to move from his mother’s home to our home when he was entering eighth grade. It was clear during his month-long stay with us during the summer before his decision to move in that the inquisitive, good-looking and friendly boy I knew was becoming a troubled adolescent confronting the dark side of his personal history as it related to his parents’ divorce along with the academic challenges that often emerge in eighth grade. I worried [...]

by Rabbi Leora Kaye I’m a rabbi, and my husband’s an atheist. My husband Doug’s atheism is well thought-out. He’s a loving, intelligent guy who doesn’t believe in God and hasn’t since he was eleven. He is moral, compassionate and Jewish, and he does not believe that his ethics are related to God. We believe parenting should be deliberate and purposeful, much like Reform Judaism. Choices should be based on knowledge, specifically knowledge about what kind of parent you want to be, what works in your family system and what works for your son or daughter.

by Rabbi Stephen Wise In this week’s Jewish Parenting Podcast, psychologist Richard Weissbourd explains the difference between being a “helicopter parent” and taking a helicopter view of parenting. You may have heard the term “helicopter parent” to refer to hovering and over-involved parents who take too great a role in their maturing children’s lives. Dr. Weissbourd has a unique perspective in that he is teaching us about raising moral children. By taking a step back, a helicopter view, we can look at our own parenting and see what we’re doing that either helps or hinders our children’s moral development.

by Sara L. Blumstein, RJE As a Jewish educator, I could say that the administrative task of assigning children to classes does not really put to use my graduate level studies. But if a synagogue is a place where we live out our Jewish ethics and which challenges us to be better people and better Jews, than indeed it does.

by Arlene Chernow In this week’s parenting podcast, my colleague Dr. Paula Brody explains the issues that interfaith couples face as they make decisions about the religious identity of their children and their family as a whole. In my work, I have found that often even when a family has made a decision to raise child with a Jewish identity, the issues may feel as if they are ongoing, long after the couple had hoped they would be resolved. Sometimes couples don’t talk about religious identity because it is hard for them to articulate their needs and feelings about the [...]

by Alison Schulman As someone who works closely with kids and teens, I often speak with teens who can’t decide whether to spend their summers interning at a large corporation or doing service work in some exotic locale. Usually, indecision comes from trying to anticipate which experience would look better on a college application. Just recently in a nearby town on Long Island, the media pounced on the news that some teens were hiring a college student to take their SATs. These kids aren’t criminals or juvenile delinquents. They are young people who caved to the pressure of achieving “success” [...]

by Craig Parks You can imagine my shock when several of my almost 20 ninth graders told me that they had to beg their parents to let them come to pre-confirmation. The parents were worried that their kids already had too much on their plate with school and the plethora of other activities programmed into their lives. So what is it that has kids begging their parents to sit in a classroom for an additional hour and a half once a week? Why do we see an increase from six children enrolled in school to three and four times in [...]

by Ruben Arquilevich This week’s parenting podcast addresses the topic of success and the pressures that youth endure in their quest for success. I applaud the efforts and initiatives to challenge the status quo and share the concerns that a myopic vision of success creates for our youth and their families. Moreover, the prevailing trend teaches our youth this path, and they in turn perpetuate it when they become parents, continuing an unhealthy cycle. Our society is obsessed with performance objectives and frequently associates success with achieving these milestones. Certainly goals are important for making and evaluating progress, but to [...]

by Dana Sheanin Suddenly everywhere I go; people are talking about the challenges of parenting. In today’s high stress, high stakes, race-to-the-top world, who do I encourage my child to be?  How do I counter the messages he or she is getting from school, their peers and the media about what is important? What core values does our family want to live by? My rabbi spoke about this on Rosh Hashanah, the New York Times recently featured a story bemoaning the rise of the “Super People” (10/1/2011), my friends are reading Wendy Mogel’s new book The Blessing of B Minus, [...]

by Shelly Christensen, MA In this week’s Jewish Parenting Podcast, Educational Consultant Lori Day touches on feelings parents have when their child is diagnosed with a special need and important actions parents can take to help their children. I wish I would have had a Lori on my team when my son was young! Yesterday I was a guest speaker in the very same building where my journey as the parent of a child with a disability started. Identifying a brief rush of the feelings I had back then such as fear, anger and sadness helped me see how far [...]

by Melissa Frey In this week’s parenting podcast, Education Consultant Lori Day talks about bullying. Rather than focusing on protecting our kids from bullies, Lori asks the tough question of how we ensure our children are not growing up to be bullies. Lori specifically notes that children often act very differently at school than they do at home. It’s been my experience in working with young people that they inherently do not want their parents to know about their social strata in school. This stems from their desire to not disappoint their parents. Whether the bully, the bullied, or the [...]