By Amanda Wachstein, NFTY-PAR Advisor

Rosanne Selfon (my mom, also known as Bubbio), Mila and me

The best gifts in the world are the people in our lives and the moments we share together, especially when those people are our mothers, the women who have made us strong, resilient and loving. These women come in all shapes and sizes; they speak different languages; they work both in and outside the home; they chauffeur and clean and cook and do endless laundry. They are elegant and fun, all at the same time. Our moms impact our world, far and near, in different ways.

We can name famous mothers such as Sarah and Leah, Golda Meir, Margaret Thatcher, Hillary Clinton, Michelle Obama, or Madonna. These remarkable, very different women are or were leaders and visionaries who will long be remembered. However, I believe that each of our own mothers has made a lasting influence, albeit in circles closer to our homes.  This Sunday, Mother’s Day, offers each of us an opportunity to acknowledge our incredible moms.  When was the last time you told your Mom how much you appreciate her? I know, from first-hand experience, that a mother’s love is unconditional and enduring. She nurtures, feeds, clothes, teaches, supports, encourages and gives all that she can.

I grew up in an average-sized family with two parents, two daughters and a dog. Females dominated our home. My Dad didn’t stand a chance – he learned, very early, to put the toilet seat down! He scared our dates but later shopped for wedding gowns. His world included fashion, cheerleading, and dealing with endless teenaged drama. Somehow, he gave us all the love and support we ever needed, despite the house being endlessly filled with so many girls with all their moods!

My maternal grandmother, Gangy, launched our family of strong-minded females. We speak our minds and believe in ourselves. Ours is not a family where females sit back and allow life to float by. Rather, we learned to take the bull by the horns, make our way, and enjoy the ride. My mom expanded Gangy’s legacy. I truly have the most remarkable mom in the world; I will go as far as saying, I have the best mom in the world but I hope most people feel as I do.

My mom taught my sister Lysa and me to always believe in ourselves, to love deeply, to laugh a lot, to always try our best, to work hard, to be polite but speak up, to not dwell in the past, to brush ourselves off and learn from mistakes, to try new things, to make learning lifelong, to give to others, to eat chocolate on bad days, and to remember that tomorrow always brings a new day.

Both my parents, but especially my Mom, instilled the Reform Jewish values I practice daily. L’Dor V’dor…they are the same values that my husband Ben and I share with our five year-old daughter Mila. Celebrating holidays with family and friends, caring about the environment, respecting all human beings, doing mitzvot, and on and on…these are values I learned from my Mom.

NFTY-PAR Spring Kallah 2013 Banquet with the females from New Board/Old Board and Mila

One could say that I have been a ‘pseudo-mom’ for the past twelve years while serving as the NFTY-PAR Advisor. Other than motherhood, being a NFTY Advisor is my life’s passion. The work that I do in NFTY is life affirming, intentional and extremely rewarding. Having the opportunity to mentor, guide and shape our teens who will lead the next Reform Jewish generation is humbling. Every four years, I have the privilege of witnessing a new NFTY generation enter our sacred kehillah and begin a transformation which concludes four years later when each graduating NFTYite stands confident, knowledgeable and passionate about being a Jew. This sometimes seems like a miracle, and it is always awesome to see! So much of what I give to NFTY comes originally from the values my Mom imparted to me.

As we celebrate Mother’s Day and all our mothers, we cannot overlook the birth of NFTY by its founders, the National Federation of Temple Sisterhoods, today named Women of Reform Judaism (WRJ). Since WRJ sought and fought to create a Reform Jewish youth movement in 1939 through to today, WRJ has supported NFTY both financially and with hands-on support. Just this year, WRJ gave thousands of dollars to support the Campaign for Youth Engagement.  WRJ sponsored the Dan Nichols Concert at the NFTY Convention. Without thousands of dollars in supportive scholarships given by local sisterhoods, many of our teens would never participate in the many NFTY programs we offer.

During this historic Centennial celebration, we at NFTY congratulate and honor WRJ. Its Centennial logo says inspired by its past…committed to the future. WRJ lives these words every day. This remarkable 100^th birthday is a testament to what passion, diligence and determination can create. On this Mother’s Day, let us honor and thank every woman in our congregations, Women of Reform Judaism.

Celebration, in part, honors an individual or marks a rite of passage. But at its hearts, a celebration also pays tribute to something larger than ourselves – our connection to community, to shared life experiences, and to love. Many good wishes to everyone this Sunday as you celebrate with your moms, sisters, grandmas, bubbies, gangys and bubbios. Remember to show how much you appreciate their love and all they mean to you.  Happy Mother’s Day to all of our incredible mothers!!

Earlier this week, I heard a part of the Torah portion Emor which describes who is qualified to make an offering to God.  The part that caught my attention is as follows…

Leviticus 21:16-21:  The Lord spoke further to Moses:   Speak to Aaron and say: No man of your offspring throughout the ages who has a defect shall be qualified to offer the food of his God.  No one at all who has a defect shall be qualified: no man who is blind, or lame, or has a limb too short or too long; no man who has a broken leg or a broken arm; or who is a hunchback, or a dwarf, or who has a growth in his eye, or who has a boil-scar, or scurvy…  No man among the offspring of Aaron the priest who has a defect shall be qualified to offer the Lord’s offering by fire; having a defect, he shall not be qualified to offer the food of his God.

This was followed up with an interpretation that was posted by Rabbi Rachel Barenblat on her blog:  The Velveteen Rabbi:

“I think of the generations who have read and cherished this text, and I imagine how many of them were halt or lame, how many had spines twisted or lungs sickly, and I wonder what reading this passage meant for them, how it damaged their sense of who they might be. I remember the cruelty of eleven-year-old girls, confronted with a classmate who had a foreshortened limb, and how their barbs sting even now, so many years after their insults were lofted in the chalky classroom air. “

In hearing this interpretation, I couldn’t help but reflect on how NFTY-PAR teens view each other at NFTY events.  One of the things that I cherish most about NFTY is that everyone who wants to be accepted is accepted for who they are – without regard to their wounds, blemishes, or imperfections.  NFTY teens come in all shapes and sizes, with every possible orientation of spirit, political belief, family background, and sexuality.   NFTY teens bring with them all of their wounds and defects – whether based on birth, a physical injury, or a mental torment.  Yet despite these defects, all of them are perfect in the eyes of at least one other NFTY-PARite.

It is both beautiful and spiritual to be in an environment where anyone can be a leader, or create a program, or inspire others, or run for an elected position – because they are in an environment where each and every teen can be perfect when viewed with the right lens.

Recently, NFTY-PAR ended the year with Spring Kallah at Camp Harlam.  At the Friendship Circle on Sunday morning, I looked around the room, and everyone had someone with which to share the final, bittersweet moments of the event.  Everyone had someone to hug or to hug them.  Everyone saw someone as being perfect, or was seen as being perfect by someone else.

In a world that is often difficult to navigate, hard to understand, and sometimes downright cruel, I find it comforting that NFTY teens can all recognize that they have the potential to be perfect, and when seen in that light, are all worthy to make an offering to God.

By Samantha Prager, NFTY-PAR SAVP 2011-2013

Spring Kallah is the last event in the NFTY-PAR calendar year. It is always sad to see the seniors leave however it is almost magical to watch the generational leadership PAR values so much, come into play. A core value in NFTY is that of generational leadership. NFTY-PAR installs the New Board at this event and it is one of the most meaningful experiences to both watch and participate in. After Havdalah, and senior roasts, both the New and Old Boards line up, in reverse gavel order, starting with the CVP and ending with President. At the start of the ceremony the Old Board has their candles lit, and prepares to light their successor’s candle.

I watched as my fellow Board members lit their successor’s candles, and passed the torch down to another wonderful generation of NFTY-PAR leadership. Before I knew it, it was my turn, to pass the Social Action Vice President position to the lovely Erica Strauss. I gave my few words of wisdom, and lit her candle, knowing that I have left PAR in great hands.

Being in NFTY changes a person for the better. There are not many communities where teens have an opportunity to be a part of while feeling accepting and welcomed. NFTY-PAR is a place that I have called my home for the past four years. I have grown and transformed into the person and leader I am today. Something I have learned is that NFTY-PAR is not a place. It is an atmosphere created by the people in it, and that atmosphere can transform any room. NFTY-PAR will stay with all of the seniors for years to come, and will continue to grow into whatever future generations want it to be.

I am so thankful of everything NFTY has given me, but more importantly, I cannot wait to see where NFTY-PAR will continue to go. Future leaders are made in NFTY-PAR, and watching generations of leaders go through PAR within my four years is something that words cannot describe. I consider myself lucky to be part of such an accepting and transforming community. With guidance from the New Board, and the continuous participation of both present, past, and future members, NFTY-PAR will continue to flourish.

NFTY-PAR Regional Board 2012-2013/5773 at Hag/Mac in May 2012 beginning their term.

NFTY-PAR Regional Board 2012-2013/5773 at Spring Kallah in April 2013 ending their term.

NFTY’s Pennsylvania Area Region (PAR) wants you to see what your weekend would be like if you don’t come to Haggigah/Maccabiah this May!

Learn more and register at www.nfty.org/par.

By Jackie Braslawsce, Director of Informal Jewish Education at Temple Sinai, Pittsburgh, PA

Jackie Braslawsce with Noa’s at her first event (Fall Kallah 2010)

The excitement was simmering as the NFTY Pittsburghers and my daughter Noa (8) loaded up the bus last Friday morning to head out for our 6 hour road trip across PA to Spring Kallah 2013 at Camp Harlam. Going to Spring Kallah is always bitter sweet since we know it is our big Senior send off. This Spring Kallah was unique for me because not only was I sending off 2 of my Seniors that I am very close with but it was my 4^th Spring Kallah so it was kind of like my own personal Spring Kallah. I have seen these graduating Seniors through their entire high school and NFTY-PAR career and now it is time for them to move on to the next stage in their life! I have seen their leadership skills emerge and grow. I have seen their confidence and self-esteem built up through the years as they begin to discover who they are. I have seen their friendships blossom and ties that bind them together so tightly they are crushed at the end of every Kallah and Spring Kallah is the end of the road for our Seniors.  What will they leave behind for the ones that will come after them? What was their personal footprint at NFTY-PAR?

Jackie Braslawsce and Noa Spring Kallah 2013

The theme of the NFTY-PAR Spring Kallah was “Never Forget These Moments”.  The teens focused on sharing their experiences in NFTY and talking about their NFTY-PAR legacy.  The concept of legacy is not the easiest idea to understand when you’re an adult let alone a teen. I knew the questions were rolling around in my daughters head and it was time to talk about what it means to have a legacy and I was up for the challenge! We lucked out because Saturday was a perfect sunny day at Camp Harlam. It smelled like Spring and there was a cool breeze in the air.  My daughter and I walked up to our favorite spot in camp (the Chai Memorial Garden next to the chapel) and we sat down on the bench and looked out onto camp. She looked at me with curiosity in her eyes and asked me what my NFTY-PAR legacy was. After some thoughtful moments, I told her my legacy was instilling an undying love for NFTY within her by sharing these experiences with her. Now mind you this legacy I speak of is not really mine to claim. It is the legacy of the enthusiastic and dedicated NFTY-PAR teens to claim for they are the ones that have created a NFTYite for life in my daughter. Noa is their legacy and it will live on through her unaltered love for NFTY. This was Noa’s 6th NFTY-PAR event and every time we get home she counts down the days to the next event and it’s because of these teens and what she feels and sees at NFTY-PAR events. She has watched these young Jewish leaders blossom just like I have. She has witnessed these same friendships flourish into true love for one another first hand. She has been welcomed and embraced into this fold of sisterly and brotherly love with open arms and an open heart. I am so grateful.

The NFTY-Pittsburgh Crew Spring Kallah 2013

I totally get why the teens have NFTY withdrawals and can’t wait for their next event.  I see why these kids are so excited to come to NFTY events and Noa is no exception to this. The magical feeling of being connected to each other and creating a kehillah (community) that brings us all together with such intensity can only happen at a NFTY event. The transformation that Jewish teens experience in just 48 short hours is an amazing and beautiful thing to watch.  These kids love each other and feel such a commitment to help and care for one another. They have a bond with each other that will live on well into their adult life and will continue to shape their Jewish identity throughout their life. Some will go to college some will take a gap year and some will just take on a job and start life. Showing Noa how beautiful Jewish life can be when you have community to share it with and friends who accept you and love you just the way you are is the strongest legacy I could ask for and the best gift she (and me) could ever receive. To all of my NFTY-PAR Seniors Noa and I will miss you dearly and will look forward to you staffing in 2 years!

Live and Die N-F-T-Y. Signing off with grilled cheeses and PAR grams…

By Amanda Wachstein, NFTY-PAR Advisor 

Spring Kallah D’var 2013

Shabbat shalom! A few PAR Board meetings ago, when we started to plan Spring Kallah, we discussed the Shabbat morning t’filah. We went around the room discussing ideas and themes and then shared suggestions for Torah readers and the aliyot. Then it was time to see which Board member wanted to write the d’var. Joey was asking his fellow Board members who wanted to write it and several posed interest. Joey then looked at me, with his serious face and voice and said….”Amanda, I think you should write it!” That was then followed with the rest of the Board’s seal of approval so therefore, I stand before you this morning to offer a d’var.

I think we take for granted the notion of cleanliness in today’s world. We take advantage of all of our incredible toiletry options…from 40 different shampoos and conditioners to bars of soap to body wash to body scrubs; and I surely don’t have time to list all of the facial products offered. We absolutely take a warm shower for granted. In fact, we take the water we have, the inside bathrooms we have and the sewers we use all for granted.

Raise your hand if you have ever felt like a leper? Well, if not a leper, what about a social outcast? Someone who did not belong in a certain group in our society? Raise your hand if all your friends were sitting a table and made no room for you so you had to find another table? Raise your hand if you have felt like a small fish in a large pond…being pushed out of the way for someone else.

And so, we arrive at this text in the parshat M’tzora: “This shall be the ritual for a leper at the time that he is to be cleansed. When it has been reported to the priest, the priest shall go outside the camp. And the priest sees that the leper has been healed of his scaly affliction.” M’tzora begins with a detailed description of the rituals that must take place in order for the person suffering from tzaraat, “affliction”, to return to the community. Sometimes translated as “leprosy”, tzaraat is not really what we think of leprosy today but more on the lines of a filthy, un-kept person.

In trying to make sense of the whole idea of tzaraat as it appears in last week’s parsha and this week’s readings, the Rabbis go into great detail to show that the text does not see the priest as the doctor. His responsibility is not to heal a physical ailment. However, they suggest instead, that this disease is a punishment of the soul for committing the sin of l’shon hara (gossiping) about others. Now I know no one in this room, me included, has not participated in gossip. Unfortunately everyone does at sometime.

You can also interpret the text to refer to either a physical or a spiritual malady, or even a sickness of both body and soul. This then brings us back to the rabbinic belief that body and soul are a unified whole and should not be seen as separate from each other.

As a NFTY Advisor, I worry a great deal about the implications of the way young people view the body-soul dichotomy, although they don’t realize they are doing so. For many teens, it is important to be part of a specific club or group of friends. Many teens are so preoccupied with their bodies that they forget about the life of the soul and mind. Similarly, all too often those who are studious often forget about balance and taking care of their bodies. Unfortunately, the same attitudes, lifestyles and habits can be seen in the lives of your parents.

Each year when it is time to read this parsha, we quickly brush aside these texts too quickly. After all, they have so little to do with our lives today. How many lepers do you know? And yet, I would argue that this double parsha gives us an opportunity to raise important, life-affirming issues, especially with young, teenage adults – issues of health of the body and the soul, issues of moderation and control of ourselves –our whole selves- and issues of identity.

It is up to each of us to maintain a balance and a healthy lifestyle. Every NFTYite is over-committed to school, activities, clubs, shows, TYGs, NFTY, friends, family…the list goes on. Our nefesh, our embodied soul – is all ours. We only receive one body and how you take care of it is truly in your own hands now that all of you are old enough to make those decisions mostly for yourselves. I hope the next time you are asked to do something else or accept another responsibility or offered that 4^th donut, you will take a step back and think about what’s best for your body in the longer term even though the immediate, seems most important.

Our NFTY community supports and appreciates everyone who joins us. Everyone is accepted here, no matter what your lifestyle is like at home…whether you are a leper, a social outcast, a clean freak, a book worm, a theater geek, an artist, an athlete….it does not matter once you walk into our kehillah kedoshah….you are a NFTYite!

Shabbat shalom.

Spring Kallah services, NFTY-PAR New Board and Old Board aliyah

Two weeks ago, over 850 Reform Jewish teens met for NFTY Convention in Los Angeles, California. As much as it was a weekend filled with fun and ruach, we also had the chance to participate in some inspiring social action projects during our offsite trips before our “grand rendezvous” in Universal Studios.

I wanted to take a minute to talk about my offsite project, Jewcer, as I think it’s a powerful tool for Jews in this technological age we all live in. Jewcer is a “crowdfunding” platform, much like Kickstarter, where you pitch your business idea or project to the world wide web and offer different levels of incentives for potential investors, big or small. But here’s the twist: Jewcer was made by Jews for Jews. Of a crowdfunding market of over one hundred separate platform, Jewcer is the only one that targets Jews. You can sign up very easily on their website, create a goal for your project or business, give it a tagline, and watch the cash roll in. Well, that’s not entirely true. You place rewards for your investors to provide incentive to invest.

In our group of about 30 NFTYites, we gathered in a local synagogue in Los Angeles and heard from the three amazing, inspiring co-founders of Jewcer, and got a chance to brainstorm our own projects to put on the website. Look out soon for the mobile app “Jew Near U”, which my group and I created during our brainstorming session. Jew Near U encompasses all the great features of JDate, Facebook, Twitter, and Grindr to find Jews near you sorted by a number of options including age, sex, interests, and much, much more!

I highly encourage all that had the pleasure of reading this NFTY blog post to travel on over to http://www.jewcer.com/ to check out all the cool stuff Jewcer has got going! Also, don’t be afraid to get your own project funded using Jewcer. It’s easy and fun!

Happy Jewcing!

With so much anticaption, NFTY Convention was truly one of the most incredible experiences of my entire life.  February 15 – 19, 2013 will always be remembered by the “Magic of NFTY” that I have learned to love and cherish.

Arriving that Friday afternoon, I could not be more excited. Kind of overwhelming at first, I quickly realized that being greeted by 850 Jewish teens from all across the country and the world was the best feeling ever! Re-connecting with old friends from Kutz camp to NFTY in Israel and everything in between, I could not believe that I was actually at NFTY Convention 2013 with the most amazing Jewish teens from literally every corner of the continent and all over the world.

I will share with you one of my favorite moments during Convention, it was Sunday morning, and we were about to go on our off-site trips for the rest of the day. (Note: Before Convention, I told myself that I would not let anything get in the way of meeting as many new people as possible.) I decided that I would sit down in the International Ballroom near a group of about 5 teens who I did not know at the time, who seemed to be chatting and having a great time. We all clicked immediately, and my original goal was transformed into a reality.  From then on, every time that I saw someone I didn’t know, I would introduce myself with nothing but confidence and a smile… Because in my opinion that’s what NFTY Convention is all about.

There really are no limitations, as we sang many times throughout the weekend, “Cause you can do anything. Yes, you can do anything.”

On Sunday of NFTY Convention, every participant had the opportunity to register for an offsite visit to one of twenty-five different options throughout Los Angeles. For my offsite visit, I chose to visit an organization called Tree People. Tree People was all started by a 15-year-old boy, Andy Lipkis, who saw a problem with smog in Los Angeles. His solution was to plant as many trees as possible with the help of some of his fellow friends. Over the years he continued to start projects to improve the air around him. All of his efforts lead to the creation of the Tree People.

The location of the Tree People is in a beautiful park.  To start off our visit we walked around the park and observed the efficiency of the layout of this park. Everything was set up in a way that makes the park get the most use out of the surrounding resources. Their parking lot is on an angle in order to collect water into their cistern, they have solar panels on all of their buildings; the paths of the trails are made from mulch, which recycles debris from surrounding trees. Everything they do there is sustainable.

Not only are they resourceful at their location, they work incredibly hard to make the city of Los Angeles a jungle too! They planted over 10,000 trees on Martin Luther King Jr. Boulevard. They have realized that trees are so useful for so many things.  On the east coast we have trouble finding clean water, and on the west coast they have trouble finding any water at all.  They work together to improve the environmental conditions of their city.

This has inspired me, Isaac and Erica Strauss to start Hydrate Harlam project. We want to install water jugs to collect the water off of the roofs of camp buildings to water our gardens. We want to make camp a more sustainable place!

For more information about Tree People, please visit: http://www.treepeople.org.