An Unusual Family Bar Mitzvah
August 20, 2008
Lifecycle
(8 comments)
By Marge Eiseman
The preparations for my youngest son's bar mitzvah celebration are getting underway. I am not feeling stressed about it, nor will we spend a fortune (that we don't have). Here's a peek at some of the process.
We are admittedly an unusual family -- we began our preparations over a year ago, and never hired a party planner, a caterer or a disc jockey. I think the first thing Zach and I did was read through the Torah portion together, Shofetim, to see which section Zach wanted to read. He saw the most famous verse, "Tzedek, tzedek tirdof" (Justice, justice shall you pursue), and owned it!
Last August, I had brought home a Tzedaka Village Charity Box Kit (from the Creative Judaica Kit Company), which I had seen at the CAJE conference in St. Louis. He enthusiastically covered every square centimeter with the colorful stickers, and declared his intent to raise lots of money for a variety of causes. I went back to CAJE this summer, and bought 50 more kits to use as centerpieces (with the obvious hope that people will use them to further their own pursuit of justice).
During December, we went to see "The Great Debaters", and I suggested that he watch this through his "Shofetim eyes" -- to see what felt just and unjust, and how some people actually pursue justice, and others look away. This phrase became code for "pay attention" and has become part of his philosophical outlook. (Yes, my 12-year-old is quite articulate about philosophical thoughts.) Some of these conversations have made their way into Zach's d'var Torah as well.
As we went along, I recruited his older brothers to chant Torah, and then I offered that Dad and I would also each prepare three verses. I'm pretty sure this will be a first at our synagogue!
When it came time to invite people to celebrate with us, we sent email invitations -- and put a note on the bottom about Ba'al tashchit the commandment not to waste. We are thrilled to say how many people commented positively -- and everyone replied via email as well.
My friends and I are catering the luncheon, cooking in the temple kitchen over the next weeks, and using as little single-use materials as possible. When people offer to help, I actually say "Yes, thank you." The desserts will be home-made with love -- it doesn't get any better than that!
Now we're in the home stretch -- and since Rabbi Cohen recently agreed that we could do Storahtelling during the service, my theatrical, musical and very Jewish family is collaborating on creating a meaningful heart of the service. We still have the tzitzit to tie on his home-made tallit, and then Zach will be prepared to lead and teach, and take his place as a member of the tribe of creative Reform Jews. I'm so excited!
Comments
Post a comment
|
Print
Email
Comment
As one of the vagaries of the English language, we can wonder if "unusual" modifies family or bar mitzvah -- even though you have pointed us toward applying it to family. Fact is, you have described a bar mitzvah that will be unusual as well.
On behalf of the rjblog family, let me be the first to wish you mazal tov and kol hakavod!