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Strengthening Reform 10: Synagogues and Families
August 14, 2008
Community | Religious Life | The Future (6 comments)

By William Berkson
In the last post in this series, I argued that Classical Reform took a wrong turn in rejecting the Talmud, and that this mistake led to the neglect of a key strength of Jewish tradition: rabbinic ethics.

Fellow blogger Larry Kaufman argued, "I for one do not believe the health of our movement depends on our attitude towards the Talmud, but rather on our attitude towards our congregants."

There is no doubt that good management both by clergy and lay boards are keys to the health of congregations. But there is more: what does the congregation do with and for its members? How does the congregation meet the needs of its members, and potential members?

I think our congregations are missing out on much better serving the vital needs of Jewish families. And part of doing it better begins with a different perspective on what is important in Judaism. And that perspective is indeed connected to Talmud.

Ten years ago, when young American adults were asked about their top priorities in life, 83% of them said that "a close knit family" was a top priority. And that number had increased 15% over the previous ten years. Among Jews I think it is fair to say that it is even higher. By contrast according to the survey reported in The Jew Within only 26% of Jews rate Jewish religion as very important to their lives.

The irony is that if couples and families live according to Jewish values, and reinforce and sustain these by family and community Jewish ritual, they will in fact strongly promote that sense of a close knit family, and of sacred, loving relationships.

However, because of the lack of awareness of the details of Jewish values in Torah and Talmud, Jews do not usually connect 'guidance for good relationships' and 'Judaism'.  Furthermore, there is an additional problem: the values in our sacred texts are stated within the context of more traditional societies, particularly with regard to the position of women. Thus if Reform Jews are to get the full benefits of living these values they need to:

    1. Be educated in the full range of values, both Torah and Talmud;
    2. Have the values updated and reformed to meet the needs of contemporary society more fully;
    3. Have the values incorporated into synagogue activities and ceremonies in ways that most help couples and families. 

How Talmudic values can help revitalize Reform, and what it will take to do this will be the subject of my upcoming posts. -I had written that I would first do more critique of current Reform ideology, but this would probably better wait until my positive program is clearer.

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Comments

Larry Kaufman said:

In teaching a course on the American Jewish short story in my congregation's adult ed program, I regularly discussed the Jewish values that were expressed in the story. One of my brighter students (who had become Jewish as an adult) regularly remonstrated that those were not Jewish values, they were American values.

That's another example of the Jewish impact on American life. But it ties directly to Dr. Berkson's point -- we need to do a better job at connecting accepted values to their roots in Jewish texts. (Sort of like Moliere's character who had been talking prose all his life but hadn't known it.)

Maybe this is just a semantic quibble, but it's not just updating or Reforming the values, but connecting them to the Tradition. To get with the program as Dr. Berkson suggests, we have to help our clientele recognize that the values they hold dear came from Jewish sources. They'll be comfortable with that -- but whether those Jewish sources are Torah or Talmud, most couldn't care less.

William Berkson said:

Larry, American values and Jewish values have a large overlap, but also differences. A number of Jewish educators--I don't know who said it first--have noted that Judaism is in some respects "counter-cultural". That is, some Jewish values are in opposition to some American values--particularly those in the entertainment industry.

The relationship between Jewish and American values is actually a complex one.

Being trained as an historian of ideas, I am aware that American values are diverse, and there are conflicting traditions within America. So when you talk about "American values", it is already a complex story.

For example I already explained how Jewish values are in conflict with the relativism that is now widespread in America, though it is by no means the only view out there; there are many anti-relativists of different stripes.

Then in Reform Judaism there are Enlightenment values that we have rightly adopted as superior to traditional Jewish values, such as representative democracy and women's equality.

Again, thanks Larry for your post. I can see that this is a topic worth blogging about further about here.

As to whether the values are Torah or Talmud, my earlier point was that the values are almost always values as viewed and greatly expanded by the Talmud. If we don't include those texts--which Reform Rabbis are doing now, but have not been a part of Reform education--then we are missing out on a lot.

M. B. said:

I would agree with Larry that Reform Jewish values and American values are generally the same. For instance, the Liberty Bell is inscribed with the biblical quotation "Proclaim LIBERTY throughout all the Land unto all the Inhabitants thereof Lev. XXV X" In our Declaration of Independence our founding fathers wrote "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. That to secure these rights, governments are instituted among men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed." The Ten Commandments, were enacted into law (with the exception of the purely religious commandments). Moses as a lawgiver is on the frieze above the entrance to the Supreme Court and a symbol of the Ten Commandments is on the doors. The Pilgrims, who studied the Bible with Jews in Holland before coming to America, were heavily Old Testament oriented Christians. The prophetic concern for pursuit of justice, for helping the widows, orphans, and the less fortunate in society is part of American values. Americans are the people who are the most likely to volunteer to help others. They have been, through a combination of public and private action, among the most charitable in the world.

American values were instrumental in shaping Reform Judaism, as it began here in the early days of our republic, within the life time of some of the founders of our nation. The enlightenment shaped American values and Jewish values, for Americans could not cast aside their cherished political values at the temple door. The ideals of freedom and democracy were influential in Reform Jews making our religion congregational in nature, with decisions made by vote of the members of the congregation and control in the hand of the laymen rather than the rabbis. The willingness of Americans to reevaluate old laws and customs in devising a new system of government was an example followed by Jews in rethinking and reforming our religious practices and free ourselves from what they saw as the outdated and sometimes harmful dictates of the Talmud. Reform Jews viewed man made laws as changeable by man, no matter how long they had been established. American Jews, particularly Reform Jews, have been successful in integrating into American society (speaking the same language, wearing the same clothes, living in the same neighborhoods, attending schools together, belonging to civic and social organizations together).

Both Reform Judaism and America have fought corruption, here and abroad, while other countries and people simply accept it as part of business or part of life.

Both Reform Jews and America have raised the status of women and accorded them both power and respect.

Both America and Reform Jews have a warm spot in their hearts for the Holy Land. No country has protected, and contributed to the welfare of Israel like the United States.

William Berkson said:

M.B., I don't feel like we're communicating here.

Are you arguing that there are not conflicts between Jewish and any American values?

You seem to want to dispute what I have said, but you don't address the only example I have given: the example of Relativism as a common American value that Judaism is not consistent with.

I want to assimilate to Reform the good ideas and values in America, and reject the bad, and keep to Jewish tradition and build on that where it is stronger.

Melissa Benson said:

Last year our synagogue's religious school curriculum featured lessons on "Midot," key values like Shmiat HaOzen (being a good listener) and Shalom Bayit (peace in the home). Aware that virtually the same list of "values" is posted in my children's secular school classroom every year, it seemed like a great opportunity to make the point that these familiar and precious ideas are actually Jewish ideas--how great is that!

So it was disappointing that lessons seemed to emphasize learning the names of the values, and of course how to enact them, but left out any meaningful discussion of what makes these concepts Jewish to begin with, or how these essentially Jewish ideas have become a part of the world around us--or the ways in which these important Jewish values are in tension with secular values we encounter every day.

Equally disappointing was the missed opportunity to connect the dots for parents, many of whom struggle with their own Jewish identity and commitment to synagogue membership. The truth is, it is these shared values that bring many parents (including non-Jewish and "ambivalently" Jewish parents) to affiliate with the synagogue and send their children to religious school in the first place. Imagine if parents had a deeper understanding of these values--their own values-- as essentially Jewish ideas.

William Berkson said:

Melissa--are you M.B.?--I am right now writing the curriculum material for classes for teens on Jewish ethics which will be given in September.

The 'middot' approach to ethics is valid, but it is post-talmudic, and influenced by Aristotle. I think an issue-oriented approach is stronger.

Shalom Bayit as an explicit concept is Talmudic, not Biblical, though the rabbinic discussions use 'proof texts' from the Bible to bolster their points.

It is also not a principle discussed in American ethics that I know of. For example, it is said that it is permissible to shade the truth to prevent quarrels between husband and wife--for Shalom Bayit. By contrast, as Rabbi Telushkin points out, in Catholic teaching such 'white lies' are not permitted. So that's another example of where one set of American values is contradicted by Jewish values, as developed in the talmud.

Also it is important for the father not to "insist on his rights", but to bend and be generous for the sake of 'Shalom Bayit'.

By the way, that's real Talmud which I think is far from sterile legalism.

Incidentally, my detailed article on Shalom Bayit between parents and children appeared in the Spring 2002 edition of Reform Judaism magazine. There you can see one of my efforts to creatively develop and apply values from Torah and Talmud to contemporary life.

Some of my suggestions are consistent with many parenting books, but inconsistent with others. There isn't one "American" view.

Our children need to learn where we agree with American values and where we disagree. Where we agree with Jewish tradition and where we want to change it.

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