Shabbat Shalom
December 25, 2008
Shabbat | Torah
(1 comments)
by Jim Ball
To talk about my relationship with Shabbat, I must speak about this week's Torah portion, Vayislach.
 It's a portion has a special meaning for me. Twenty-five years ago, I became a Jew, and took the Hebrew name Ya'akov. Like the place that Jacob visited in last week's Torah portion, Beth El, I was a member of Congregation Beth El in Sudbury, MA , and my Beth El, like Jacob's, was and still is, a holy place for me.
This week Jacob, returning to his birthplace and homeland, prepares to meet Esau again, something which leaves him with some trepidation. In fact, he is terrified. He and his retinue come to the River Jabbok and must cross. Having to ford this river is, of course, highly symbolic to the task of having to cross through his own fears and reluctance to meet Esau.
After he's taken his family and possessions over, Jacob goes back across the river alone and, we are told, wrestles with a mysterious "man," who some interpreters take to be an angel, and others suggest is Jacob wrestling with himself, attempting to allay his own fears and better understand where he is going and what he is about to do. And after this struggle he is transformed. He is renamed Israel.
So what does this have to do with my relationship to Shabbat? Twenty-five years ago, one of the rabbis on my asked me an intriguing question: "if you had to give up everything about being Jewish except one thing, what one thing would you keep?"
My answer then was Shabbat--because, I said, if I had Shabbat, then I'd have everything else, because Shabbat, it seemed to me, encompassed the essence of being Jewish--studying Torah, being with community, prayer, rest and reflection. A facile answer perhaps--but then, what did I know? I was just a newly becoming Jew, about to be literally wet behind the ears as I went into the mikveh.
What I didn't realize then is that I would spend the next 25 years struggling, like my namesake Ya'akov. Struggling with Shabbat. Trying to figure out where I'm going and what I am supposed to be doing when it comes to Shabbat. Struggling, like Jacob, with a strange man, myself.
Struggling with trying to keep Shabbat and not always succeeding; listening to the nagging voice that tells me what I SHOULD be doing. To just stop--to leave the computer off, to go to temple, to study, to have lunch with friends and commune--to just be.
It doesn't always work. But when it does, I'm always amazed at how good it is, and how good it makes me feel. And then, the next week comes and...well, there's that river again, and that stranger to wrestle.
My wife and I have found that as with many pieces of Jewish practice, it's important to take baby steps. Do small things, introduce a little at a time. And bit by bit, add something more. We're not there yet, but I like to think we're on the way. I figure it's a lot like the way to get to Carnegie Hall...practice, practice, practice.
And to tell the truth, struggling isn't always so bad. It leads to greater answers--and it seems so Jewish.
So here is my prayer this morning: God, help me cross that river. Help me come to that place on the other side, to not have to go back over again. Help me find the truth of that answer I gave 25 years ago. But don't ever let me stop struggling.
| Baruch atah, Adonai |
Praised are you Adonai |
| Eloheinu, Melech Haoloam |
Sovereign of the Universe |
| She-asani Yisrael. |
Who has made me a Jew. |
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The Sabbath, it is often said, is the most important holiday in Judaism. We sometimes underestimate its influence on our lives because the Sabbath is so familiar, so omnipresent. But that is why it is so vital. The first chapters of the Bible include two key pieces of information. The first is that God created man in His own image. "I will make man in My image, after My likeness." Genesis 1:26 The Bible contains many accounts of God interacting with mankind and we can deduce things about Him from his pronouncements and actions, but there is no more complete description of the Lord than that in this first part of Genesis. Secondly, we are told that on the seventh day, following six days work of creation, He rested. That need for rest is something basic which we humans share with our Creator.
Jim, all of us find our own way to observe Shabbat. There are a multitude of ways we can enjoy the Sabbath and keep it holy and they change from time to time for each of us. Someone who is sixteen is not going to want to have the exact same Sabbath experience as someone who is 32, with a family, or someone who is 48 whose children are grown and whose interests have changed. So we adapt our observance over the years, consciously or unconsciously, still taking advantage of the rest and holiness of the day, but in different ways.
Isn't it funny how in our fast paced lives, taking a day off each week can seem like a struggle. Don't fret, you have God's example and His permission. In fact He says its the right thing to do. There is no reason to feel guilty. Even He needs time off. So relax and enjoy it.