By Jake Adler
(First posted on the Kesher blog)
Jake Adler shares his struggles to find balance in religious ritual, time management, and ultimately, life.

My family has never been particularly big on routines. We rarely ever lit Shabbat candles or had Shabbat dinner together in my home. It was never part of our schedule. As the mood took us, we would have Chinese, French, sushi, or my mom's favorite, the local steakhouse. This novel indecisiveness could be thrilling, but at times it was also confusing. With so many options available, it's sometimes difficult to narrow down your options. As a result, I often had trouble knowing when to stop putting things on my plate.

In high school and college, I had to learn to balance coursework, social time, extracurriculars, and personal time. But whereas in high school I had the structure of the school day and the gentle nudging of my parents to keep my schedule in check, in college I could join as many clubs as I wanted to, stay up as late as I wanted, and had no one to answer to but myself. The lack of boundaries made it too easy to over commit, and my freshman year, I burned out on all of the choices. I became the president of the Jewish Student Union, became a DJ for the campus radio station, sang in the choir, had the lead role in a play, edited the school newspaper, and stayed up late shooting the bull with friends. Eventually, I learned to balance my schedule. By my senior year, I was a master at iCal. My weeks were packed, and color-coded, a cornucopia of different activities that led me to spend time with a variety of colorful personalities.

After graduation, I found myself "in the real world," a renaissance man. A jack-of-all-trades, master of none. I had lots of interests, but I struggled to identify my passions. Although in college I had drifted slightly from my high school ambition of becoming a rabbi, it returned after I graduated. I got a summer job running the high ropes course at Olin-Sang-Ruby, the original URJ summer camp in Oconomowoc, Wisconsin. I interned at the URJ, helping with the 2007 Biennial. When that ended, I was hired as the administrative assistant for the URJ's Social Action Department.

A full-time job brings another set of time management issues. It was easy to break up my college day into 2 or 3 hour chunks of class time, or hour-long meetings, but another thing entirely to have a job where the most accurate way to represent my day on the calendar is an 8 hour block labeled "Work." The chaos of having unpredictable work can be frustrating and frightening. Additionally, becoming financially independent (particularly in New York City) involves a fair amount of self-discipline (and is another cause of stress).

But I have found comfort in ritual. I go to services and am reminded of familiar words, thoughts, ideas. Shabbat dinners have become a (more) regular part of my life, thanks in large part to the support of friends. I learn new old traditions, and am able to proceed at my own comfort level, without feeling nervous or incompetent. The burden of choice is also a blessing, and we as Reform Jews must never forget that. From Adam and Eve to Abraham to Jacob to Nachshon, we make choices, make mistakes, wrestle with our past, our future, the holy and the mundane, but we always grow. Adult life is a reminder that things are always changing. Staying abreast of the changes helps me to only put what I can handle on my plate.

Jake Adler is the administrative assistant for the URJ's Commission on Social Action. He graduated from Earlham College in 2007.

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