Thoughts on Next Dor: Synagogue 3000
November 5, 2009
Community | Jewish Living
(4 comments)
Rabbi Elyse Frishman is the spiritual leader of The Barnert Temple in Franklin Lakes, New Jersey. She is the editor of Mishkan T'filah, A Reform Siddur.
 Next Dor: Synagogue 3000 is a forum with Larry Hoffman, Ron Wolfson, Jessica Zimmerman, Esther Lederman, Jim Green, Michelle Citrin and Josh Nelson
A summary: Next "Dor", the next generation. We are neglecting our 25-40 years olds, many of whom live in cities. It's possible that twenty years could elapse from the time a college graduate has a child eligible for religious school: twenty years of absence from the synagogue, twenty years of being a "homeless" Jew.
As daunting as the challenge appears, dare we not attend to this missing generation? Our generation has had its opportunity to create our Jewish world. The next generation has its music, its art, its culture, its voice: are we listening? Next Dor urges us to hire a professional whose work is not to missionize the synagogue, but to build relationships with these Jews, one by one -- a liberal Chabad per se. Meeting these young Jews where they live, physically and metaphorically, and listening to what they deem to be meaningful and compelling will help us to reshape what we offer. If we care, we'll listen -- really listen -- and respond.
We must demonstrate that we see this next generation not as "consumers but as citizens of our community" -- and that community is the Jewish people, not a particular synagogue. Relationships are the only critical building blocks for the 21st century Jewish community -- relationships built with trust, true concern and service to one another and the world.
Some personal thoughts on this project: it's terrifying --a paradigm shift and expensive, too. But it's spot on even for suburbia. There are so many unaffiliated Jews. Whatever their demography, they're neglected. If we take the attitude that they'd come to us if our publicity were better, etc... Well, they don't read us, they don't see us, they don't hear us. They are, as others have been saying,"just Jewish." If we care, we'll listen more closely. We have to take our fingers out of our ears.
I think a great deal about what it means to listen. Shema: hear, listen, understand. Shema: shin, mem, ayin -- three letters for three aspects of the action. Shhhh: hear what the other is saying. Mmmm: be quiet and listen, draw it in. Silence: reflect without speaking, empathize, draw closer. How often do we listen to respond, rather than to appreciate what the other has to say? How often do we have too much to say? We -- I -- need humility. Our children are intelligent, thoughtful and creative. We've taught them what we can, if not by word then certainly by example. What matters is that they know that we care and thatwe trust them to choose wisely -- even if it's not our choice. Next Dor opens my heart to this possibility of trust.
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I agree with this idea completely, but I feel that it is skipping over the fact that the Reform Movement also needs to look earlier than '20's and '30's. The URJ does a great job with youth programming. NFTY, EIE, Meitav, Kutz...I could go on and on. What is there for college students? If you're lucky, you arrive on campus to find a very small inactive group of Reform Jews who might meet weekly to have Friday night services. That's it. I attempted to get involved with KESHER on the North American level and found the organization to be extremely understaffed and without any support from anyone who could make a real change from witin the Union. I chose my college because of its reputation of having a strong Hillel. The Reform Community was a dissapoint. The Reform Movement's leadership is constantly asking where the 20's and 30's are going? Isn't the real question, where are the college kids going? Organizations like Chabad, Aish, and Maimonides are filled with Reform Jews who are being led to believe that their past Jewish experiences aren't Jewish enough, and that they need to be shown the real way to be Jewish. If we're lucky, some young adult Reform Jews will go on to become lay leaders and Jewish professionals during the next 2o years. However, this doesn't just have to be based on luck. If the college student population was to become a priority for the movement, we might not have to be worrying about where the 20's and 30's are going, because they would already be here.