The sad part of your story is that Rabbis Leon and Greenberg didn't respond and spare you having to defend yourself against this calumny.

We in the Reform movement still have a major public relations challenge, in letting the broader Jewish community know how we have changed since the days when we defined ourselves by what we didn't do instead of by what we do.

We still share the problem with the Conservative movement that our Jews in the pews do not necessarily follow the traditions in their homes that our synagogues model for them. We excuse our ritually lazy by granting them the "out" of autonomy; whereas the de facto standard of the Conservative movement is often an expectation that the rabbi and his family be strictly kosher and shomer Shabbat.

I remember sitting at a dinner party in a non-kosher restaurant in Florida, where my wife and I were the only Reform Jews and the other couples were all members of Conservative synagogues. Somebody made a disparaging remark about our status, to which I replied that we might be the only Reform Jews in the group, but we were also the only ones who went to shul every Shabbos.

Maybe the right response to those who belittle us as Reform Jews is to challenge them to defend their own religious practice.

I am a Reform Jew, and I will like to post and share not a comment but a poem that I wrote inspired by my Dearly friend and Rabbi, John Sherwood. I attend Temple Beth Torah in Ventura, California.

Another definition of a Rabbi

By: Zeev Amit (Jorge Gonzalez)

A healthy tree produces life, shelter, and gives great fruits.
A good Rabbi can be compared to such a tree.
Rabbi, according to the dictionary, is a Jewish doctor of scriptural law.
Personally, I believe that this definition is accurate, but at the same time incomplete. If I was going to give a more accurate definition of the meaning of a Rabbi, it would be: a good spiritual leader, a friend, a counselor, a psychiatrist, an excellent teacher, an event planner and a fair judge.
There are two kind of Rabbis - the one that only fits the definition in the dictionary, and the one who lives by my definition as well.

Rabbi:
May God keep blessing you with a long life, the riches of kindness,
a good loving heart, a good conscience and good judgment.
May the one who inspired you to be a Rabbi,
fill you with the strength, and wisdom that you need.
May the Almighty one, the source of life, preserve you
from illnesses and the dangers of the evil person.
If some how you feel deceived by any of us, please don’t
give up, don’t harbor hate and anger. After all, we are mere
humans, and selfishness is one of our bad qualities.
Life is short, but the race is long. Keep up with the good race.
Remember that you are like a tree, and when you produce a good
fruit, this fruit will keep producing more fruits. The fruits that are spoiled,
simply are tossed away, will become rotten, and eventually they will be forgotten!
Rest assured, that you are not alone, always someone will listen, learn, and
be inspired by your teachings. The way you are will have an impact on
who we may become.

I am so happy that I was able to rewrite the definition of a Rabbi.
And all I have to add is THANK YOU for being my Rabbi and MY FRIEND!

Shalom.

Regarding Larry Kaufman's first point: I should point out that the disparaging comment was in the online forum attached to the article. I highly doubt that either of my colleagues saw it -- so their lack of "defense" shouldn't be held against them. For the record, the three of us have a great degree of mutual respect.

I'm with KJ. I'm also a Reform convert and have my own personal feelings of inadequacies about how Jewish I am. Thing is, as much as I might compare myself with other Jews, that's really not the point. It's easy to say "my religion is personal" but I think one of the key elements of Judaism is the sense of community. Maybe it's just human nature to compare ourselves to the people around us.

So what do you do? In part aren't we obliged to question each other? Perhaps only when we witness bad behavior should the fingers get pointed, but then is not keeping the Sabbath not "bad?"

We can't blame the person for questioning, I don't think. If you take questioning out of the equation, then you remove or negate free will through denying the right to ask questions.

I think the real issue is not wondering about how others are Jewish, but having respect for how others are Jewish, and not publicly denying them their Judaism. Of course in the end, no one can take my Jewishness from me, though they may insult me or hurt my feelings by trying to do so.

I do strongly agree with Larry K above that we in the Reform movement do a pretty bad job of explaining who we are, and what we stand for.

Larry Kaufman and I participate in a Reform listserve and he recently made some insightful and learned remarks about his attachment to his Judaism. In my response, I wrote the following:
"Reform Judaism has helped me make my own Judaism and yet share Judaism with others. It has allowed me to embrace ritual,liturgy, song and teaching that is meaningful to me, and it allows each of my fellow congregants room to do the same, if only they are so moved." There is not one second of my day that I don't feel thoroughly and delightfully Jewish.

Rabbi Bach, I doubt that most Conservative or Orthodox rabbis would feel compelled for even one second to defend their beliefs and practices.
We Reform-niks need to get to that same confident and clear place as a movement, especially among ourselves.

Then, I misunderstood your response, and thank you for explaining it to me.

It doesn`t seem as though Rabbi Bach felt the comments made to him were anti-semitic. Certainly not something I would regard worthy of reading. Nevertheless, I would also be in wonder of the respondents intent. Above all else it always continues to surprise me how the Profession of being a Rabbi warrants such a response from us. If we think of the comments made to us at work, trying to get time off for Holy Days and getting responses like, "but I thought you were Reformed?", and so on - what a blogger each of us could become. I was born into a mixed marriage with my Mother converting to Orthodox Judaism. I am the only child of that marriage. My Father having died when I was 4. My Mother remarried a man whose roots were deep in Reform in America. Giving me his name, but we hardly observed. At 34, I came as close to death as you can and still survive. I thought I must convert to join the community. Naturally, being Gay and "half - Jewish on the wrong side" (as I was called in my youth growing up in Brooklyn)I chose a dynamic Reform Congregation to join and sought the Junior Rabbi`s assistance. I needed to return. And with my Mother`s blessing who had no idea her conversion prior to my birth was sufficent (not the best wording)for me to live life as a Jew. I have Jewish Aunts and Uncles and Cousins. All Orthodox. All stating only Reform Rabbi`s would help me. Well, long story short (or short story long), I don`t think I would have survived without my return and reconnecting to a Jewish way of life. But this Rabbi, who promised to assist me, took my money for membership as a disabled person, and was telling people he had no intention of converting me. And placed himself into liability telling people he didn`t think I "had my head on straight". He did not reflect that Congregation. And I left when this was told to me. I went to another Reform Rabbi who converted me immediately. And then the Conservative Rabbi and I had met through his wife (who was teaching me Hebrew) stated that the Reform Rabbi did not perform this conversion correctly. That I was "disrespecting G-d". So, he had me join his Temple and he performed a "Conservative Conversion". And all the Reform people I developed interpersonal basis with had stopped communicating with me. Suddenly! My Mother states she spoke to a friend and she got the elucidation that conversion was never needed. I nearly died again. All this mishegas with memberships, and right or wrong conversions, and we don`t talk to "them" because "they" think they`re better than us. That Shabbat, a cousin (Orthodox) was in town. He wanted me to go to an Orthodox shul with him. Although the mitzvah of "Make welcome the stranger" was in tact, it was without the same warmth I had experienced with my first Congregation of Reform. It was consistent to say the least. And when one is weak, that`s a good place to be. Wrong. NOW my name was "mud" in our little town. This Orthodox Rabbi and his family treated me as if I were a relative. But the Congregation had heard rumors of my "head not being on straight" and get ill eased with my presence. And two fools placed an obituary of my death in a local Jewish paper. Who also refused to retract the obituary. After all this, I was alone on Shabbat and every Yom Tov you can imagine. I remained faithful. And Kosher. Jump forward, I was helping a friend cater. And I was to meet a friend who had been very sick at her Reform Temple where I had the first of many conversions. Now known as "not needed". I walked in with a white shirt, black pants, and a black vest, and a kippah. If looks could kill. And this woman and I listened to the Rabbi who said I didn`t have my head on straight making certain all the other Rabbi`s knew I was "ger". My friend and I laughed. And then he went so far as to say i didn`t look Jewish. All this during a Shabbat service. And the last time I would see this friend because she died shortly there after. I think Oprah would approve of the book in process. What for? Exactly what everyone here is discussing. I feel shame as a Jew (Yep, Reformed again)when someone of another branch of Judaic practice or a non-Jew compares the worthiness of one Neshoma to another. What I had to experience during these conversions is outrageous. What we as Jews, regardless of our understanding and need to live a Jewish way of life in a comnfort zone that suits our neshoma (not our schedules as some would suggest), need to remember that people watch us. They see this diversity and hostility and it`s placing a burden on the Reform Communities in this Country to almost substantiate our worthiness. I remember being told when walking with Orthodox men to the shul not to respond to the Reform Jews or Conservative Jews we pass by. Regardless of the religion, is this the behavior of people who, in my experience, all have good intent to live a life as a Jew. Practice as you wish. But do we need a day like Yom Hashoah to remind us to everyone else we are all Jews. All worthy of the Torah and all the teachings of our forefathers and generations of Mothers to live a quality life as a Jew. Do we need to bury a relative, or a friend, to remind us that regardless the "Branch of Judaism" the deceased practiced they are now solely amongst the deceased. Todah Rabbah to Rabbi Bach for bringing this foolish comment a man made to him. Because that man is on the outside looking in. And what is going on in our communities is no longer, and will never again, be the result of OUR behavior toward one another as Jews. And I know there will be judgement against me for this honesty. My message is in hope for Peace amongst us. And good health, and joy, and pride as we live our lives fulfilling as many mitzvot as possible. In favor of G-d. A healthy, joyous Shavuot.