Reform Judaism: Lifecycle Archives

A Call For A Moratorium On Shabbat Weddings
August 26, 2010 (3 Comments)

by Rabbi Leon A. Morris
Temple Adas Israel, Sag Harbor, NY
(Originally posted on The Jewish Week)

The recent wedding of Chelsea Clinton and Marc Mezvinsky has triggered a spate of articles about interfaith marriage, rabbinic officiation, co-officiation with Christian clergy and the like. Considerably less attention has been focused on the fact that the wedding took place on a Saturday before nightfall. Perhaps this was deemed less newsworthy because it has become so commonplace. I'm asking myself whether the most publicized Shabbat wedding in American Jewish history might have the unintended consequence of questioning anew the propriety of performing weddings on the Sabbath.

The need for Shabbat is greater now than ever before. Folks from widely divergent population segments are beginning to reclaim the Sabbath in a variety of ways. There are the hundreds of secular Israelis gathering at the Tel Aviv port to welcome Shabbat with prayer, poetry and song. There are the innovative hipsters of the Shabbat Manifesto declaring a "national day of unplugging," inspiring thousands of individuals to "put down their cell phones, stop their status updates on Facebook, shut down Twitter, sign out of e-mail and relax." A best-selling book on the Sabbath was published this past spring that prompted several stories in The New York Times about the reconsideration of the Sabbath. Families are looking for ways to connect with each other, and to re-institute the family dinner at least once each week. The time is ripe for us to be more strident in our embrace of Shabbat, particularly in the public domain.

In addition, our increasing environmental awareness reminds us of our own place in the larger universe. Deciding to officiate at Saturday weddings after 6 p.m. is not only arbitrary but represents a kind of environmental hubris in which human beings think that they have the power to make the stars appear earlier. With all of our human knowledge and advancement, we still cannot cause the sun to set. We experience awe of the cosmos when we make ourselves subject to time that lies beyond our control.

Filed Under: Lifecycle | Shabbat

My Summer of Remembering
August 24, 2010

by JanetheWriter
Originally posted on JanetheWriter Writes...

With my mother's death earlier this summer, I've become my family's "Keeper of the Yahrzeit List." So, while some of my friends may be having a summer to remember, I seem to be having a summer of remembering.

First it was Grandma, my mother's mother, whose yahrzeit falls on July 25th. She's in my heart always, and in my writing frequently. You can read some of my reminiscences and reflections about her here and here and here.

Next was Uncle Irv's yahrzeit on August 7th. He too has been the subject of my musings.

Tonight is Tante Mina's yahrzeit. My sister Amy is named for her -- Leah Meryl -- but I didn't know anything more, so I asked Aunt Claire, my mother's sister. Here's what she had to say:

Tante Mina was a cousin. I don't know how she was related. She was a very short lady and we always used to measure our height against hers. At a very young age we found ourselves taller than her. To know her was to love her because she was so sweet and kind. She was widowed at an early age. I never knew her husband. She was rather poor, and as she got older she arranged to go to a Jewish home for the aged. She was very happy there; she loved the arts and crafts classes and also volunteered to feed those people in the home who were unable to feed themselves. She was a "gutte neshumah," a good soul. We try to remember her because there is no one else to do so.

And so it is that earlier tonight I lit a yahrzeit candle (that's it up there on the right) for Tante Mina. As I think about her on her yahrzeit, may her memory -- like those of so many others -- be a blessing.

Filed Under: Jewish Living | Lifecycle

The Ineradicable Record
August 5, 2010 (1 Comment)

by JanetheWriter

Ten weeks ago, I became a mourner. I was especially interested therefore to see today's 10 Minutes of Torah in which Rabbi Sarason details the provenance of each of the readings that precede the kaddish in Mishkan T'filah.

Yes, the various texts read from the pulpit each week do provide a certain measure of comfort--some more than others--but I find myself especially (and repeatedly) drawn to these meditative words from Rabbi Sidney Greenberg, which are found in Grief in Our Seasons: A Mourner's Kaddish Companion:

Death can only take from us what might have been. It cannot take from us what has already been. It cannot rob us of our past. The days and years we shared, the common adventures and joys, the "little nameless acts of kindness and of love"--all these are part of the ineradicable record. Death has no dominion over them.

In its simple eloquence, this passage reminds me of many, many cherished times. Most of all, though, Rabbi Greenberg's words remind me that no matter how many different ones I bring to mind (and, thankfully, there are a lot!) death has no dominion over them. Right now, such reminders are a comfort indeed.

Filed Under: Jewish Living | Lifecycle

Funeral Fiascos: Should Jews Rethink How We Honor the Dead?
July 21, 2010 (15 Comments)

by Rabbi Eric Yoffie
Originally posted on the Huffington Post

A friend of mine recently attended the funeral of someone he had known for many years. About a dozen people got up to speak. Most of them spoke badly. Often the eulogizers ended up talking not about the deceased but about themselves. When the funeral was finally over, at least an hour and a half later, my friend was frustrated and angry. "I cared about this person," he said, "and she deserved a more fitting farewell."

Jewish funerals have changed in the last several decades, and not always for the better. Some of the changes were both understandable and welcome. At a time when all ritual was becoming less formal, Jews wanted funeral services that were more personal, intimate, and heartfelt. Therefore, when a death occurred, instead of calling on the rabbi for the eulogy, a close member of the family -- perhaps a child or sibling of the deceased -- was sometimes called upon to say a few words.

So far, so good. I have frequently been deeply moved by the eloquence of a daughter speaking of her father at his funeral, sharing memories and experiences with power and immediacy that no other speaker could possibly provide. A family member or close friend is often in a position to do what a member of the clergy cannot.

But once this door was opened, a variety of difficulties came into play. Family members discovered that when a close relative died, there was an expectation that one of them would speak -- even if they had no desire to do so. Since Jewish burials take place as soon as possible after the death, individuals still reeling from the impact of a loss find themselves under pressure -- real or self-imposed -- to talk at the funeral and represent the family to the community. Some refuse and feel guilty. Others agree but find the task difficult and painful. Either way, an unfair burden is imposed on those who are in profound distress.

Filed Under: By Rabbi Eric Yoffie | Lifecycle

Daughter of Diana...Daughter of Zelophehad
June 30, 2010 (2 Comments)

by JanetheWriter

Today marks the 30th day of shloshim for my mother and so tonight I will remove for the last time the kriah ribbon I have worn on my left lapel each day (except Shabbat) since her funeral on June 1. Although this external symbol of mourning will no longer be visible to me or to the world, the pain of my loss still burns sharply in my heart as I, ever conscious of the responsibilities that are now mine, ease back into living my life.

A stalwart feminist and a devoted student of Torah who marked the seasons of her life in Jewish time, my mother would, I think, be pleased to know that the end of shloshim corresponds to Pinchas, which next to Lech L'cha, her all time favorite, was among the many parshiot she enjoyed studying and discussing. In the same way that she felt a kinship with Abraham in Lech L'cha, so too did she empathize with the daughters of Zelophehad--five strong, independent women who, seeing injustice in the world, went about setting things right. And, like them, set things right she did. Whether teaching young children about equality for all in the 1950s, campaigning to gain support for the Equal Rights Amendment in the 1970s or, as recently as this past winter, insisting--as an army of one--that her own beloved synagogue uphold the principles of church-state separation, my mother, in the words of one friend, "[built] coalitions, recogniz[ed] the importance of staying within the party...[and] worked towards justice for all those years."

And now, that responsibility passes to me. But more than pursuing equality and justice for all, my responsibility, as Rabbi Laurence Elis Milder suggests in the Monday edition of this week's Ten Minutes of Torah is to "speak [her] name and remember what [she] did...to tell our children and our loved ones the names of those who came before us, their deeds and virtues. When we do that, we are all the daughters of Zelophehad."

Filed Under: Jewish Living | Lifecycle | Torah

Finding Comfort
June 18, 2010 (4 Comments)

by JanetheWriter
Originally posted on JanetheWriter Writes...

As I continue to walk the mourner's path, I am comforted by many things: the extraordinary outpouring of affection and care from family and friends, the sage rituals and rhythms of Jewish tradition, and, indeed, by my mother's own words and wishes.

Earlier today, I went in search of her ethical will to my sister and me, which, as anticipated, I found safely tucked away in a box of keepsakes in my hall closet. Although it includes no date, I would guess, based on context, my mother wrote it sometime in late 1995 or early 1996, and in its words, I found her richest legacy to me:

My dearest children,

For some time now, I've wanted to write an ethical will, one in which I could set down my thoughts and values for you. After all, we try to put our financial estate in good order, so how about our ethical estate? I've always told you the only thing of value you can leave behind is your good name, so why not talk about that?

At the Kallah last week, I took a class in writing an ethical will, and it impelled me to start what I had been putting off for a long while. You, Jane and David, Amy, and Daddy are the most precious parts of my life and I include you David, because married to our child, you become our child. At your mother's house after her funeral, Lilac told me that your mother always said she never had to worry about you because "Jane's family would always look after you," and she was right. We do so not out of obligation, but because we care about you, you care about Jane and we all care about each other.

Filed Under: Jewish Living | Lifecycle

Elena Kagan's Fight for Bat Mitzvah Creates Guilt Trip
May 26, 2010 (1 Comment)

by Linda K. Wertheimer
Originally posted on Jewish Muse

Elena Kagan is giving me a guilt trip, but it has nothing to do with her nomination for the US Supreme Court. At age 12, Kagan fought for the right to chant from the Torah in her Orthodox shul to celebrate her coming of age as a bat mitzvah. In 2006, at age 41, I chanted from the Torah and led a prayer service to celebrate my bat mitzvah as an adult. I am chagrined as I write this: I have never chanted from the Torah again. Kagan's long-ago fight for equality on the bimah is a reminder. I could do more.

Kagan, according to articles in the New York Times and Jewish Week, asked her rabbi if she could read Torah on a Saturday morning to mark a bat mitzvah. The rabbi refused that request and allowed her to instead chant from the Book of Ruth on a Friday night and analyze it in a speech.

US Supreme Court
nominee Elena Kagan

Kagan's ceremony in 1973 was the first formal bat mitzvah at her shul, the Lincoln Square Synagogue. I dropped out of Sunday school at age 12 in 1976, three years after Kagan's historic moment. At the time, it was common place for Reform and Conservative Jewish girls to have bat mitzvah ceremonies. Because of my adult bat mitzvah studies, I am comfortable singing and chanting in Hebrew. I have had a few opportunities to chant from the Torah again since my May 6, 2006, but have not yet accepted such offers. There was an once-in-a-lifetime feel to my bat mitzvah experience, particularly the chanting from the Torah. I was doing something that Jews were doing all over the world at the same time. I still savor that moment.

Filed Under: Lifecycle | Social Action

Remembering Rabbi Michael Signer
May 14, 2010

by Rabbi Eric J. Siroka
Temple Beth-El, South Bend, Ind. and RAC Brickner Fellow.

(Originally published on RACblog)

I had the wonderful opportunity this Monday to attend a symposium at the University of Notre Dame marking the publication of a festschrift in memory of Rabbi Michael Signer. This new book, Transforming Relations: Essays on Jews and Christians throughout History in Honor of Michael A. Signer, is a loving testament to the life's work and passion of a remarkable man. The volume was edited by Franklin Harkin, one of his former students, who helped coordinate the program. As made evident through the day's presentations, anyone who was ever one of Michael's students remained in his sphere, as he took special interest in his students' accomplishments, careers and lives well after leaving the classroom.

read MORE

Filed Under: Lifecycle

Are Baby Showers a Jinx? Jews Often Debate the Question
April 29, 2010 (5 Comments)

by Linda K. Wertheimer
Temple Isaiah, Lexington, MA
Originally posted on Jewish Muse

It was not just about the presents. A baby shower would celebrate something I thought was out of my reach - parenthood. At 43, I was finally going to become a first-time mother. But I was also closer to my Jewish faith than in the past and knew Judaism frowned upon baby showers because of superstition passed down from one generation to the next. If parents-to-be celebrate prematurely, bad luck could follow. Oy. What a load to put on first-time parents.

Still, my husband and I partially bowed to Jewish superstition. We had a Welcome Baby party for a small gathering of relatives and friends less than a month before my due date. By that point, I was well in the comfortable zone for delivering a healthy baby. Guests were encouraged to bring a favorite children's book.

My husband Pavlik displays Clifford
book gifts at Welcome Baby Party

I had mixed feelings about not having a traditional baby shower. Books were a grand idea. But what about blankets, crib sheets, burp cloths, baby bottles, a crib, diaper changing table, and onesies, and more onesies? In the Jewish debate about baby showers, bigger philosophical issues than a need for onesies are at play. The superstition stems from something spiritual in Judaism, I learned from a former rabbi of mine, David Stern. Rabbi Stern, who leads Temple Emanu-El in Dallas, told me that the spiritual dimension is the idea that "we shouldn't get too overconfident about our own control of events."

Filed Under: Jewish Living | Lifecycle

I Almost Made Myself Cry at the Bar Mitzvah
January 25, 2010

by Rabbi Paul Kipnes
Congregation Or Ami, Calabasas, CA
(Originally posted on Or Am I?)

There we stood, Rabbi and three generations of the Tillis family, preparing to physically pass down the Torah midor lador (from generation to generation). This primarily Reform Movement tradition makes manifest what is happening in fact and deed: that another young adult is receiving Torah from his ancestors. At the end of this line of stood a young man Jared, who though he spent his life challenged by special needs and multiple treatments - a rare form of non-convulsive epilepsy, speech therapy, vision therapy, challenges reading and decoding - now stood ready to do what every other 13 year old boy does. Jared was becoming a Bar Mitzvah.

I looked out at the crowd of family and friends. On their faces I saw utter amazement; reflected in their eyes was the wonder that this young man, in spite of all the challenges he faces, had led the prayer service so beautifully. His Bar Mitzvah teacher, the incomparably talented Diane Townsend, had been by his side, pointing to each transliterated syllable so that he could chant the prayers at his own pace. Too see how creatively she had retransliterated each word in a way that it would be comprehensible to this specific Bar Mitzvah boy is to witness a master teacher at work. Yes, we had already each experienced that Shehecheyanu moment, that blessed happening that reminds us all that we were just touched by the miraculous.

Filed Under: Jewish Living | Lifecycle | Youth and Family Life

Galilee Diary: Round and round
December 29, 2009 (1 Comment)

by Marc Rosenstein
(Originally published in Ten Minutes of Torah and Galilee Diary)

For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die...
-Ecclesiastes 3:1-2

Last Thursday, after a long struggle with cancer, Tsippy Oren, a veteran member of Shorashim, passed away, at home, at the age of 58. She was a remarkable member of a remarkable family. Classically "secular" Israelis deeply sympathetic to the liberal religious orientation of Shorashim, devout Zionists, strong advocates for social justice and civil society, open minded and open hearted - a sort of embodiment of the mythical Israeli. Tsippy was an occupational therapist, but beyond her professional commitments she was always quietly finding ways to help others - bereaved families, Arab women, families in trouble - and who knows who else. One son helped found a new kibbutz dedicated to education and social activism without great prospects for prosperity; a daughter became ultra-orthodox. The Orens didn't miss a beat and remained a model of a close and loving and inclusive family. Tsippy was our liaison when we were first visiting and considering joining Shorashim, and was our advocate when our candidacy was questioned because of our advanced age (44). I think part of what drew us here was the prospect of living in a community made up of people like her. Her loss is a very sad moment for all of us at Shorashim - all the more so because it represents a sort of actuarial turning point for us; in the early days of the community a young mother died of cancer, but that was an anomaly, a tragedy. In this death, on the other hand, we all hear the clock ticking.

Filed Under: Community | Israel | Lifecycle

Heartfelts are the Best Gift!
November 30, 2009 (2 Comments)

by Marge Eiseman

Last Shabbat, my step-sister and I cooked a wonderful dinner in honor of our parents' 17th anniversary. We chose foods that were "heirloom" recipes: she made a fresh tomato soup and I baked the special butter cookies that my maternal grandmother used to make,. She also baked a chocolate Babka that was her paternal grandmother's recipe. It was a totally unconscious way of demonstrating our blended family, one that still includes my mom and her dad.

In lieu of material gifts, we chose to offer them "heartfelts" -- gifts of the heart, sharing memories and blessings in poetry and song. Truth be told, it's been a really tough year. My dad's health has been a cause of concern (to put it mildly), and the worry is beginning to weary my dear step-mother.

Filed Under: Lifecycle

Our Redhead Looks at Colleges: Tears, Smiles and a Blessing
November 24, 2009 (1 Comment)

by Rabbi Paul Kipnes
(originally posted at Or Am I?)

It all started with Consecration. In celebration of the beginning of their formal Jewish education, these cute kindergartners ascend to the bimah to stand before the aron kodesh (holy ark) to receive a mini-Torah from the hands of their parents. Nervousness surrounds us as children wonder where to stand, as parents step forward unsure of how to guide them. Still, smiles mingle with tears as we watch our babies continue to grow up. And we bless, shehecheyanu, thanking God for getting us to this special day.

Then we stand again on the bimah as the child, now thirteen, becomes a Bat or Bar Mitzvah. Having spent years learning about Judaism and practicing Hebrew, she now leads the service, chants from Torah, and gets to stand before parents, relatives and friends who sit quietly and attentively as she expounds eloquently on some lesson derived from Torah. Nervousness surrounds us as the teens, so worried about what others will think, now are anxious about whether they will mess up the words or the tune. Some will now call them "men" or "women" but we know better. They are just taking the first steps on the road toward being an adult. Still we pass down Torah midor lador, from generation to generation, hoping that their shoulders are now broad enough to carry on the burden (and joy) of our tradition and values. Smiles mingle with tears as we realize our children are no longer babies. And we bless, shehecheyanu, thanking God for getting us to this special day.

Filed Under: College Life | Jewish Living | Lifecycle | Youth and Family Life

Remembering Capt. Benjamin Sklaver
October 8, 2009 (7 Comments)

Rabbi Harold L. Robinson, Rear Admiral CHC USN Ret, is the Director of JWB Jewish Chaplains Council.

The world, and specifically the community of Reform Judaism, lost a very special neshama with the death by enemy action in Afghanistan of Captain Benjamin Sklaver, US Army, 32, of Hamden, Conn.

Ben was a product of Mishkan Israel of Hamden, Vice President of NFTY-NE in 1994-95 and was a graduate of both Tufts and the Fletcher School of Law and Diplomacy at Tufts.

While employed at the Centers for Disease Control, he joined the Army Reserve in 2003 as a civil affairs expert and deployed to the Horn of Africa where he was touched by the high rates of child mortality linked to dirty drinking water. After his demobilization and return to civilian life, Ben founded ClearWater Initiative, an organization based in New Haven that sought to provide potable water in underdeveloped Ugandan villages. In northern Uganda, Ben was known as "Moses Ben." According to its Web site, ClearWater Initiative has constructed wells for more than 6,500 people since 2007.

Filed Under: Lifecycle | Social Action

In the Presence of the Divine
September 2, 2009 (4 Comments)

by Dr. Wendy Nelson

So often I read or hear the words, "feel the presence of the Divine" and they slide over me unemotionally and without meaning. I sit in services most weeks trying to focus on the liturgy and trying not to focus on my grocery shopping list. I am alternately moved to tears and bored to tears.

I am filled with awe on occasion but, more often, I am off in outer space waiting for some gravitational pull to bring me back into the room through a connection to someone or something. I can't force the experience to be otherwise. Since I cannot control it, I go with it and let it take me where it will. Sometimes the trip is meaningful, sometimes mundane and on a rare occasion it is actually "Divine."

I had an encounter with the divine last month. I don't know if it was the big Divine or the little divine, but it was surely one or both of those. On the first Saturday morning of August, a congregant became a bar mitzvah for the second time. An eager group of family and friends came to share that experience with him and we rejoiced as he read from the Torah.

Then, as he took the podium to tell us about his first time becoming a bar mitzvah, a hush fell over the room, punctuated by gasps. He graciously shared with us a captivating story of being a boy of 13 in 1939 in Germany whose becoming a bar mitzvah coincided with the declaration of World War II.

Filed Under: Jewish History | Jewish Living | Lifecycle

Bat Mitzvah Brew...and Family Ties
July 22, 2009

By JanetheWriter

A few weeks ago, in one of the many emails that crosses my desk daily was a link to Shmaltz Brewing Company, makers of He'brew, the Chosen Beer. It seems that the company, as part of its 13th anniversary celebration, is seeking bar and bat mitzvah photos to be featured on its website and, for one lucky "winner," on the label of its seasonal anniversary ale, Jewbelation 13. You can read more about Shmaltz' bar and bat mitzvah photo project here.

Filed Under: Community | Jewish Living | Lifecycle

Finding Community
June 5, 2009 (2 Comments)

by Gardening Grandma

At a Catholic funeral Mass today for a man who gave so much to the Village of Larchmont community as a member and chief of its volunteer fire department, the priest based his homily on a passage from Luke: "Whoever seeks to save his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life will preserve it."

His message, as it related to Tommy Connell, was that Tommy often risked his life to save others. "Tommy was a giver," the priest said. Tommy gave to the community, he gave to his family, he gave love and he gave hope.

As hard as it may have been to swallow the message of eternal life in the Kingdom of Heaven, the priest's message that "we don't have enough givers" rang true. What, after all, is a life devoted to tikun olam about, if it isn't about the message that we need to live our lives involved in the world and not separate from it?

Filed Under: Community | Lifecycle

Good Broken Glass
April 1, 2009 (4 Comments)

By dcc
With an overpowering slam of my foot to a small and unsuspecting light bulb it was official -- the pop and subsequent scream of mazel tov topped off with a kiss and quick walk down the aisle meant we were married. Phew! What a wild ride it was to get to the point of this celebration. There were countless hours of planning on the phone, the Internet, using the fax and friendly courier pigeons. There were tastings and venue changes, rabbinical registration regulations and fast talking county clerks. Not to mention the cake, hotel, rehearsal dinner, airline tickets, bus rentals and photo shoots. But in the end, it was just my bride, our rabbi and me under the Chuppah (wedding canopy), surrounded by those who love us and wanted to see us take our next step together.

Lots of people asked: "Do you think you will feel different after the wedding?" in that we have lived together for more than two years. I said of course and worried personally that I wouldn't. Who knows how you are going to feel after something happens that hasn't happened yet?

Filed Under: Lifecycle

The Power of Greene
March 27, 2009 (3 Comments)

By JanetheWriter
Although my growing up years didn't include a Reform Jewish camp experience (something my parents regret to this day), I've worked at the Union for Reform Judaism long enough to know that more often than not, such experiences spawn and nurture a lifelong commitment to Jewish living, learning and celebration. Anecdotal evidence suggests, in fact, that many of today's Reform Jewish professionals and lay leaders got their start down that particular path at a Union camp.

This reality hit me in the face this past weekend when I attended the wedding of two friends who met as staff members at the Union's Greene Family Camp in Bruceville, Texas. Although the wedding was in Tulsa, Oklahoma, the bride's hometown, we might as well have been at Greene in central Texas because, without a doubt, that was the place that had brought so many of the wedding guests together and the place in their hearts that continues to hold them together -- even as they grow and change, and move in distant and distinct directions. Indeed, it is the place that, to a very large extent, made them the Jews they are today.

Filed Under: Lifecycle | Youth and Family Life

Salient Memories
March 12, 2009 (1 Comment)

By Rabbi Richard Winer
(Originally posted on Divrei Derech)

Now that I've returned from the C.C.A.R. Conference in Israel, I consider the details that rise to the surface in my recollections.

One moment keeps coming back.

The day after the conference concluded, I returned to the Old City to explore further. A couple of us wandered through the alleys enjoying the sensory experience. We wound down through the Shuk and into the Jewish Quarter. As I stood waiting while my companion poked into one of the shops, an entourage came winding along toward the Wall. I gathered that they were on their way to celebrate a Bar Mitzvah. A youth walked along under a chuppah while a man who appeared to be the proud father led the group singing.

Filed Under: Israel | Lifecycle

Do Not Abandon Shivah
March 1, 2009 (14 Comments)

by Rabbi Eric Yoffie
(Originally published in Reform Judaism magazine)
In the last 24 months, both of my parents have died. This wrenching loss was devastating--as it is for all of us who feel the terrible isolation of losing those who were the first people that we ever loved and who, more than anyone else, shaped what we were to become.

The pain is still with me, of course. But with the help of my wife and children and the support of my synagogue community, I confronted the reality of death and found the strength I needed.

Filed Under: By Rabbi Eric Yoffie | Lifecycle

D'var Acher: Freedom: An American-Jewish Struggle
February 1, 2009 (1 Comment)

by Penny M. Kessler
(Originally published in Reform Voices of Torah and Ten Minutes of Torah)
A microcosm of the differences in American and Jewish perspectives on freedom can be found in comparing typical American and Jewish coming-of-age experiences.

In American culture, sixteenth birthdays typically are celebrated by declaring independence from parental transportation with a driver's license, eighteenth birthdays by registering to vote, and twenty-first birthdays in a bar. Except for the ability and privilege of participating in the democratic process at eighteen, major American age-related life-cycle events celebrate freedom from authority.

Filed Under: Lifecycle | Torah

Priceless Moments in Teaching
January 22, 2009 (3 Comments)

By Marge Eiseman
I just had one of those priceless moments in teaching yesterday. I recently was engaged to teach 3rd grade at Congregation Emanu El B'ne Jeshurun in Milwaukee, WI, just on Wednesdays, since I am often on the road on Sundays.

It's a sweet group, seven boys and one girl, and a gentle 14-year-old madrich/assistant. We're doing what many 3rd grades do - learning the Hebrew Alef-Bet, and beginning to attend weekly prayer services where much of the prayers are in Hebrew. I make it as engaging as I can with stories and songs, but there's only so much you can do once or twice a week for two hours.

Filed Under: Lifecycle

Remembering a Giant: Arnold Jacob Wolf
December 31, 2008 (2 Comments)

by Rabbi Elliott A. Kleinman
Chief Program Officer, Union for Reform Judaism
(First published on the RACblog)
When I learned of Rabbi Arnold Wolf's death on Wednesday evening, I was overwhelmed by the loss. Arnold was my rabbi. My parents were founders of Congregation Solel in Highland Park, IL, and Arnold has been a part of every moment of my life. It was Arnold who inspired me to be a rabbi and challenged me to be a Jew, and it was Arnold who taught me how to do both.

Some of my earliest memories are of Arnold berating our congregation or our religious school class or the board of the congregation for not doing enough in the pursuit of justice. What I remember most is that we loved every moment of it. God was real and I "had better pay attention" he would remind us. "I am Adonai your God" was not a promise but a challenged to be lived up to every moment in every action.

Filed Under: Jewish Living | Lifecycle

Confirming the Diversity within Our Reform Movement
December 23, 2008 (8 Comments)

by Rabbi Paul Kipnes
Congregation Or Ami
Question: What do you get when you take four most thoughtful, compassionate, committed Jewish teens, with whom I have studied Judaism for eight to twelve years, and put them together up on the bimah at Erev Shabbat services?

Answer: A very moving Confirmation Class service.

Congregation Or Ami's service last night was deeply meaningful. Our Confirmands - Alex Krasnoff, Ross Meyer, Jonny Wixen, and Sarah Wolfson - led the prayers and in between, offered their reflections on a series of questions:

If asked by a non-Jewish person what you cherish about Judaism, what would you say?
What do you believe or think about God?
Having studied Judaism for 10-13 years, what ideas or parts of Judaism are most significant or meaningful for you?
What has Judaism taught you that will help you later in life?
How do you feel connected to Israel?
When have you felt the most Jewish and why?

Some of their responses, a picture of the diversity within our Reform Movement, include:

Filed Under: Community | Jewish Living | Lifecycle

Time to Cherish
December 16, 2008

by Marge Eiseman
I guess it always matters where we start telling our stories - does my personal story begin at my conception? Birth? First memory?

Last night, I called one of my best friends, and I was hoping that I would reach her 17 year old daughter. I just wanted to check in with her, because, in addition to the normal stress of high school seniors who are waiting to see where they will be accepted for next year, we are all dealing with her mom's new diagnosis of breast cancer.

Filed Under: Jewish Living | Lifecycle

How dcc Got the "cc" - A Family History in Motion
December 11, 2008 (17 Comments)

by dcc (and az)
First some background: Once upon a time, in a magical land known as Newton, Massachusetts a boy named Andy Cutler fell in love with a "feminist in law school" named Olivia Cohen. After years of courtship and these two high school sweethearts tied the knot at Temple Ohabei Shalom in June of 1977. Like in all fairy tales, the two lived happily ever after in a wonder-world of pluralism and progress as Andy and Olivia Cohen-Cutler. These two tradition ~~bashing~~ creating newlyweds went on to bring Donnie and his very smart and funny sister Sally into the world with this new family title. Thus the Cohen-Cutler family was created.

Jump to present day.

As you may remember from other posts, I am about to get married to a very lovely woman. We met at URJ Greene Family Camp. We both worked for the Reform Movement. We both are very liberal politically, socially and religiously. But when it comes to figuring out what to do with our last name we are having difficulty dealing with the progress from the previous generation. So in this post we are asking the Reform Jewish community for help. We have spoken to our families, to our rabbis and now we are opening the appeal to the Reform Movement at large.

Filed Under: Lifecycle

Because He Couldn't, Let Us Remember HM
December 5, 2008

By Gardening Grandma
I sometimes suspect the urge to make the world a better place is part of the DNA of every Jew, yet I recognize that it runs in the veins of people of all persuasions, often when they're not even aware of their actions.

An obit of "H.M., an Unforgettable Amnesiac," appears on the front page of this morning's New York Times. After experimental brain surgery in 1953 to correct uncontrollable seizures, he lost the ability to form new memories. And, because he and his family were willing to be the object of intensive study, the world of modern neuroscience was born.

For 55 years, each time H.M. met a friend, each time he ate a meal, each time he walked in the woods, it was as if for the first time. God's world was created anew each day for him.

Filed Under: Lifecycle | Social Action

When the Yizkor list gets long...
November 30, 2008 (3 Comments)

Out of a discussion about Yizkor and Yahrzeit; an exhibit on Dubuque's Jews...

by Karin Pritikin
Vice President, Temple Beth El, Dubuque
Project Director/Exhibit Developer-
The Alexander Levi Heritage Project

In 2007, Temple Beth El in Dubuque, an extension of two older congregations, had 27 households--and more than 400 names on its Yizkor/Yahrzeit list. Some members felt the list was too lengthy to read on the High Holidays, while others believed strongly that reading the list was a powerful way to maintain a connection to those who built Dubuque's Jewish community which, though small, still thrives.

When several of us expressed the desire to explore the creation of a Yizkor/Yahrzeit fund to honor those on the list whose families were no longer living, or in the area, it led to an interesting discovery. The impending 175th anniversary of the city's founding coincided with the 175th anniversary of the arrival of Alexander Levi, Dubuque's first Jew, the state's first naturalized citizen; and the founder, in 1857, of the city's first Jewish congregation.

Filed Under: Community | Lifecycle

Ever hear the one about the Rabbi, the minister and the bagpiper?
October 27, 2008 (3 Comments)

By Steve Arnold
I know it sounds like a corny joke, but it's the situation I had to balance recently in finally laying the ashes of my late wife to rest. In a world where more than half of all Jewish marriages are interfaith, finding a way to balance those different cultural demands is something we're all going to face.

My story starts in April when my wife Marg died suddenly. She was a believing, but non-practicing Anglican and I'm Jewish. Her relatives are hard-right Pentacostals. The funeral service and visitation were marred by some serious and bitter conflicts with her relatives over fundamental questions - Marg and I had always talked about cremation, but her relatives were horrified at the idea her body wouldn't be ready for the rapture. I would sit shiva after the funeral, but for the service itself I wanted a dignified Anglican funeral - they wanted their family pastor to preach "hell fire and damnation." Emotions ran high.

Filed Under: Jewish Living | Lifecycle

Bereshit: New Beginnings
October 25, 2008 (5 Comments)

By Andi Rosenthal
This morning, my weekly Torah study group, along with thousands of b'nei mitzvah children all over the world, began the Torah over again. The beginning comes, in my opinion, at the exact perfect moment, when the chill in the air and the gorgeous vibrant leaves and the deep azure of the Sound all bring the beauty of G-d's handiwork into sharp focus. It's as if, no matter what troubles or joys you are facing, you simply have to notice what a beautiful world we live in. And as a writer, very few narratives intrigue me as much as our sacred story of creation. Bereshit bara Elohim et hashamayim v'et ha'aretz - in the beginning, G-d created the heavens and the earth - is one of those perfect first lines - in fact, it is THE perfect first line. And I think any writer worth their keyboard would agree.

Filed Under: Jewish Living | Lifecycle | Torah

The Marriage Equality Trifecta
October 17, 2008 (4 Comments)

By Kate Bigam
(First posted on the RACBlog)
Kate Bigam is the Press Secretary at the Religious Action Center.

The fight for marriage equality is heating up in California, Florida and Arizona, states that will see November ballot initiatives to amend their state constitutions to prohibit same-sex marriage. Here's a quick update on each state's grassroots campaign to oppose these dangerous and discriminatory initiatives (including a little help from Ellen DeGeneres!) and some insight into how Reform rabbis are helping out:

Arizonans voted no on a similar measure in 2006, and now they're up against the same thing this year. Now, Vote No on Prop. 102 is seeking volunteers to help spread the word about this dangerous initiative and offering $5.00 yard signs that advertise opposition to the amendment. Reform Rabbis Helen. T Cohn (Congregation Chaverim) and Thomas A. Louchheim (Congregation Or Chadash) joined an oppositional statement with other faith leaders, saying, "This amendment is morally, religiously, and financially divisive, and would be destructive to many Arizona families."

Filed Under: Lifecycle | Social Action

Yom Kippur Minhag
October 12, 2008 (10 Comments)

By JanetheWriter
Last year on Yom Kippur, my father and I ducked out of temple following the morning service, drove down the road to the mall and--while the children's and tot services were underway--spent time browsing in Barnes and Noble, comparing notes about our most recent (and not so recent) reads, discussing what's on each of our "to read" lists and seeking out new treasures to add to those lists. Among the books we thumbed through that afternoon was Daniel Mendelsohn's The Lost, which, later in 5768, I subsequently purchased and we both read. So profound was its impact on me that I wrote about it twice for this blog--once before the read and once after.

This year, the day before erev Yom Kippur, I sent my father the following email:

Dear Daddy,

Do you want to go to Barnes and Noble again on YK afternoon the way we did last year? That's where we saw The Lost. Who knows what we might find this year!

XO,
B!

Filed Under: Community | Holidays | Lifecycle

Third Time's the Charm
October 3, 2008 (3 Comments)

By Jill Zimmerman
First posted on the RACblog
On September 6th my best friend's uncles, Dan Henkle and Steve Kawa, walked down the aisle for the third -- and finally legal -- time.

Dan and Steve first became domestic partners in 1995 and were one of the few couples personally married by San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom during the "Winter of Love" in 2004. (Steve is the Mayor's Chief of Staff.) They have shared a home in San Francisco for over 13 years and have two beautiful children, Katherine and Michael. But this September wedding was the first time the couple's commitment was legally sanctioned.

However, a California ballot initiative is threatening to take away the right for couples like Dan and Steve to be married under California state law. Proposition 8, which will be on California ballots November 4th, would amend the California State Constitution to say: "Only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California." Similar measures will be on the ballots in Florida and Arizona, and one that would prevent gay couples from adopting children will be on the ballots in Hawaii.

Filed Under: Lifecycle | Social Action

Philanthropy as a Rite of Passage
September 22, 2008 (1 Comment)

By Gardening Grandma
Every synagogue I know has some sort of "mitzvah" requirement built into the bar/bat mitzvah program. Often the mitzvah is so small--"I spent an afternoon reading to children in an after-school program!" or "I gave my old children's books to the hospital!" -- that the chance that the 13-year-old learned a lifelong lesson is pretty slim.

But today I read about Jared and Colby Kash on Jewlicious. I've no doubt that these two brothers are on their way to a lifelong habit.

What's happening in your family?

Filed Under: Community | Ethics | Lifecycle

Children of the Emek
September 21, 2008 (1 Comment)

By Larry Kaufman
For my ninth birthday, my Aunt Rebecca and Uncle Morris gave me a book hot off the presses, written by their friend Libbie Braverman, who was the principal of the Hebrew school at the Euclid Avenue Temple in Cleveland. The book was called Children of the Emek, and had emerged from Libbie's recent trip to Palestine, very shortly before trans-Atlantic travel was halted by World War II.

Children of the Emek told the story of life in Palestine under the British mandate, through the eyes of a young brother and sister who lived in Nahalal, in the Jezreel Valley (the Emek of the title).

Filed Under: Israel | Lifecycle

Moving and Memory Boxes
September 19, 2008 (2 Comments)

By Rabbi Eric Eisenkramer

I despise packing and moving. I suspect that I am not alone in this feeling. Last summer I packed every item that I own to move from Queens to Ridgefield, CT to begin serving as Rabbi of Temple Shearith Israel. I quickly remembered how much I detest the process of making boxes, figuring out what to keep and what to throw away, and trying to get everything done before the movers arrive.

Out of the dozens of boxes that I packed, I had three or four from childhood. I did not even bother to open those boxes. They stayed sealed, the movers put them on the truck, and they came with us. These are my memory boxes. They are filled with greeting cards and old art projects. Within these boxes are my kindergarten class picture, a series of letters that I wrote to a good friend from elementary school who moved away, and then there were the baseball cards. Hundreds of them. Cards that my dad bought in the 1950s and ones that I bought in the 1980s. The baseball cards are a family tradition that my dad and I share, each buying them when we were boys. My wife would rather part with the cards, but I keep reminding her that they might be valuable some day, although in truth I doubt it. The sealed memory boxes that never got opened or looked at, are currently sitting in our third bedroom, just as they sat in a storage locker in Queens before that.

Filed Under: Community | Lifecycle

What no one could tell you about losing a child
September 11, 2008 (1 Comment)

By Marge Eiseman
No one could tell us what to do. Zach's bar mitzvah was looming and even beginning to plan brought up huge pain. No matter what, big family events are a delicate balancing act, trying to find the right way to acknowledge the loss of loved ones while still finding the joy in the moment. This goes for recent losses and even the distant ones - because love and loss are inextricably linked together.

Last spring at Andy's 50th birthday party, one of our friends remarked, "That's your family - three boys and Baki's framed jersey!" and it was a strange summary statement. No one who knows us ever forgets that we lost our child, Baki, a mere three and a half years ago, but we all realize that life goes on.

Filed Under: Lifecycle

Straight or Gay, Marriage is Sacred
September 10, 2008 (1 Comment)

By JanetheWriter
Three years ago last week, the California Assembly voted to legalize same-sex marriage in the Golden State. Earlier this week, the JTA reported that on September 4, perhaps to mark this anniversary, Orthodox Jewish and Catholic leaders signed a statement that affirms that affording same-sex unions the status of marriage "dilute[s] the special standing of marriage between a man and a woman."

The signatories "hope that even those outside of our common religious traditions will recognize that we speak from the truth of human nature itself which is consistent with both reason and the moral life." Although one of the statement's signatories, Rabbi Fabian Schonfeld, chairman of the OU/RCA Joint Committee on Interreligious Affairs, and I share a religious tradition, I don't believe that he speaks from the truth of human nature and I certainly don't believe that that truth is consistent with either reason or with the moral life.

Filed Under: Ethics | Lifecycle

Tribalism, Reform Judaism, Rites and Choices
September 4, 2008 (19 Comments)

By dcc
Answer this question for me honestly: Do you, as an active Reform Jew, practice a Jewish tradition simply because that is what Jews have always done? Professor Carol Ochs writes in this week's d'var Torah that our portion teaches us that we can't "keep doing something just because we have always done it." I don't observe rituals simply because my parents do (or don't) observe them, but in all honesty my family's observance does inform my personal observance. And for that matter my community's observance plays a significant role in the formation of mine as well. But I can say with no doubt in my mind that I do not follow Jewish tradition simply because it is the way it has always been done.

So why do we continue to practice the brit mila?

Filed Under: Jewish Living | Lifecycle

An Ageless Rite of Passage
August 27, 2008 (2 Comments)

By JanetheWriter
From the matriarchs to Judith, Esther and Ruth, right up to some of the more recent pioneers in our own Movement--including Rabbis Sally Priesand, Elyse Frishman, Stacy Offner, Laura Geller and Janet Marder, among others--our tradition is filled with great Jewish women.

To this list I'd add the names Henrietta Blend, Dolores Wyde, Diana Wuntch, and Harriet Newport. Recently, these four seventy- eighty- and ninety-somethings culminated nearly a year of Jewish study and learning with a joyous b'not mitzvah celebration in an assisted living community in greater Houston.

Mazel tov and yasher koach to each of them. May they continue to go and grow from strength to strength, and, as they already have done for me, teach and inspire the rest of us along the way.

Filed Under: Community | Lifecycle

Sunday School is a Bummer
August 25, 2008 (1 Comment)

By Mary Hofmann
I went to a workshop this week aimed at giving Sunday School teachers insight into and assistance in instituting and utilizing Union's Chai Curriculum. As the only teacher from a tiny congregation (we have six to eight kids in our whole "school") I listened sadly to the tales of woe from the urban teachers. As the facilitator said, Jewish education has always been considered supplemental education--not supplemental to public school, but supplemental to what kids get at home. Sadly, it is no longer a supplement. In many, if not most, temples, Sunday School is the whole ball of wax.

What a bummer.

Filed Under: Community | Lifecycle

An Unusual Family Bar Mitzvah
August 20, 2008 (8 Comments)

By Marge Eiseman
The preparations for my youngest son's bar mitzvah celebration are getting underway. I am not feeling stressed about it, nor will we spend a fortune (that we don't have). Here's a peek at some of the process.

We are admittedly an unusual family -- we began our preparations over a year ago, and never hired a party planner, a caterer or a disc jockey. I think the first thing Zach and I did was read through the Torah portion together, Shofetim, to see which section Zach wanted to read. He saw the most famous verse, "Tzedek, tzedek tirdof" (Justice, justice shall you pursue), and owned it!

Filed Under: Lifecycle

A Special Rabbi
August 12, 2008 (1 Comment)

The Special Rabbi By Elise May
My family and I recently came together for a weekend of celebration in Memphis, TN. Cousins and close family friends that I hadn't seen in years flew in from around the country. What was the occasion? My parents were celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary! Such a joyous event that is almost unheard of today.

The Rabbi who married my parents has passed away, and, since their small congregation disbanded a few years ago, my parents don't really have a Rabbi they can call their own. However, my father began corresponding with a Rabbi in Memphis some time ago.

Filed Under: Community | Lifecycle

Jewish Teaching Begins at Home
August 7, 2008 (5 Comments)

By JanetheWriter
Recently, my college roommate called me for some advice. Her 12-year-old son had been invited to the bat mitzvah of a classmate and she didn't have a clue about what he should wear or what type of gift would be appropriate.

As one of only a handful of Jews he knows, I was excited for Matthew. B'nei mitzvah are meaningful and fun and, as a young man who is well-versed in the rites and rituals of the Catholic Church, this would be a great learning experience for him.

Filed Under: Community | Lifecycle

Keep the simcha simple
June 26, 2008 (2 Comments)

By Mary Hofmann
While I enjoyed reading the many perspectives of the contributors to Reform Judaism this month, I was truly saddened by the plight of Elise Silverfield May and those in her situation (which includes a whole lot of us, on a lot of levels!)--the perceived high price tag of being Jewish (page 61 or online here).

Her particular alarm rang concerning the temple members' expectations around her son's upcoming bar mitzvah, which were terrifyingly grandiose. This concern connects well with Rabbi Yoffie's comments at the Biennial regarding congregants reclaiming Shabbat morning services from the grip of private "parties." If we don't want Reform Judaism to become increasingly about status and wealth, I believe this problem needs to be addressed both in terms of reclaiming both the sanctuary and the sanctity of the event. I guess it has to do with the values established at each congregation--and all of our opportunities (and obligations?) to revision those values regularly.

Filed Under: Jewish Living | Lifecycle | Shabbat | The Future

For the Sake of a Namesake: L'dor v'dor
June 23, 2008 (1 Comment)

By JanetheWriter
A few months ago, during an informal visit in my apartment from my parents, my sister and my nephew Ian, I was stretched out on the living room floor and Ian, as five-year-olds are want to do, was walking on my back and climbing all over me. When his weight hit a spot that made my back crack, I groaned, "Oh, Ian, just call me your personal Uncle Irv," before squirming out from under all 40-something pounds of him.

"Like mother, like son...like aunt, like nephew," I thought.

Filed Under: Community | Lifecycle

Where are we?
June 19, 2008

By Rabbi Richard Address
In developing our project on the aging of the baby boomers (Sacred Aging) a host of questions have emerged. Many have to do with how we, given the gift, we pray, of longevity, can continue to answer God's question of Genesis 3: "where are you?" (ayecha) So, I decided to try and start a small dialogue on our blog about these issues.

Filed Under: Lifecycle

Contemplating Mortality
June 18, 2008

By Gardening Grandma web garden.jpg
I suspect I'm not alone in finding myself looking my own mortality more squarely in the face because of Tim Russert's untimely death. As the outpouring of emotion and tributes attest, he died doing something he absolutely loved. He clearly relished his work, making each moment he was on air count, but he also made sure there were plenty of moments for his private life.

How often have you heard someone say, "That's the way I want to go," when they hear about someone who was here one moment, and then, suddenly, is not in the world any more?

Filed Under: Lifecycle

Of Covenantal and Other Special Relationships
June 17, 2008 (3 Comments)

By JanetheWriter
Last week, I drafted--and ultimately scraped--a post for this blog because after it was written, I came to realize that not only was it much too personal for the vast world of cyberspace, but also, because I wrote it in anger after someone challenged my belief in the Jews' covenantal relationship with God, I wanted to give myself some time to reflect on what I was saying.

Then I read the article in the New York Times quoting a letter from Abraham Foxman to Pastor John Hagee in which Foxman writes, "We look forward to meeting with you to promote a dialogue between Christians and Jews based on mutual respect, reconciliation and the recognition of God's eternal covenant with the Jewish people." Since Foxman raised the covenantal issue with Hagee, I've reconsidered my scraped post and, after a lot of thinking, I'm giving it another shot:

Filed Under: Jewish Living | Lifecycle | The Future

The Universe sent me a Shabbat message
June 16, 2008 (3 Comments)

By Wendy Nelson

My daughter graduated from high school Saturday. The weather changed from cold and rainy to a sunny 80 degree day. The plague of cicadas awaited for 17 years and due to arrive by now were yet to emerge from the ground. I arrived early and got a front row seat knowing that I could not miss seeing my beloved child on this special day. It was Shabbat and all was right.

Filed Under: Community | Holidays | Jewish Living | Lifecycle | Shabbat

Honoring our Fathers and Mothers
June 15, 2008 (1 Comment)

By JanetheWriter

A short piece on the editorials and letters page in Friday's New York Times suggests that according to the National Trust for Historic Preservation, "the Lower East Side is one of the 11 most endangered places in America..." The article mentions several neighborhood landmarks, including The Eldridge Street Synagogue which, following a recently completed multi-million dollar restoration is now known as the Museum at Eldridge Street.

Dating from 1887 and widely known to be the first synagogue built "from scratch" in America by Eastern European Jews, the continuously operational Eldridge Street Synagogue is an architectural, cultural and historical gem. This Sunday's "Egg Rolls and Egg Creams" Festival celebrates the rich heritage and history of the immigrants--Jewish, Chinese, Italian, and others--for whom the neighborhood was the "Plymouth Rock" in their pilgrimage to America. Indeed, it was so for my grandparents, and on this Father's Day weekend, it is most fitting to honor them--our grandmothers and our grandfathers--for their moxie in making the journey and ensuring a better life for us all.

Filed Under: Community | Holidays | Lifecycle

New Pioneers of Israel
June 13, 2008 (2 Comments)

By Rabbi Stacey Blank
In Israel, even in Reform synagogues, most of the kids who have an aliyah to the Torah when they turn 13 are boys. There are very few girls. It is still not common for girls to have an aliyah to the Torah in Israel (though everyone has a party!). In a country where women fought side-by-side the men in the 1948 War of Independence, where women hold important positions in government, and where women run major corporations, it is hard to believe that girls by and large are not encouraged to enter the religious sphere.

Filed Under: Holidays | Israel | Lifecycle

A New Window in Time
June 12, 2008 (3 Comments)

By Barbara K. Shuman
Having reached the age of 62, I thought I had experienced most Jewish life-cycle events: my own confirmation and marriage, the birth of children, brit milah and pidyon haben for our son, bar and bat mitzvah of our children, the death of a parent and grandparents, and the marriage of our daughter. However, last weekend I added another to the list - the naming of our first grandchild. Like many young adults, her parents are not yet affiliated with a synagogue. They identify as Jews, but shun established institutions.

They waited until she was 9 months old to create their own ritual. I think it was worth the wait.

Filed Under: Lifecycle | The Future

Economics of Equal Rights
June 10, 2008 (1 Comment)

By dcc
A few weeks ago--even if they didn't know it--the seven California Supreme Court justices gave the state a much needed economic booster shot. The Golden State, often a bellwether of social and economic trends throughout the US, is feeling the pinch of the credit and housing collapse. However due to the Court's ruling on the unconstitutional ban on same-sex marriage, the State's economy may see a finacial upswing, reports NPR's Morning Edition.

California has been working with a major budget deficit for years and the millions of GLBT couples who wish to get married (and spend $684 million dollars on these weddings) may add as much at $64 million to the state budget, closing the gap between the red and green in California.

Who knew equality could help the economy?

Filed Under: Lifecycle

Brilliance of Yizkor
June 10, 2008 (1 Comment)

By Marge Eiseman
This Shabbat, we will observe my mom's 17th yahrzeit and then on Monday morning, I'll be saying kaddish for her again at the Yizkor service on the festival of Shavuot. Yizkor means remember. What could be more important than that?

I attended a session on "How to Talk to Your Children about God and Death" on a recent Sunday morning at Congregation Sinai. In the room with me were two women whose husbands had died, leaving them young widows with children, and besides myself, there were at least one or two other bereaved parents. There were people who referred to the death of their own siblings or parents, and yet none of them ever attend the Yizkor services that occur during the year. I don't even know if they attend on Yom Kippur afternoon, but it's the most likely one if they do.

Filed Under: Community | Lifecycle

Marking Jewish Time
June 6, 2008 (5 Comments)

By JanetheWriter
Today is the 47th day of the counting of the omer. And, although I do not possess David A.M. Wilensky's "hyper-awareness of Jewish time," I do, in my own way, mark Jewish time.

As much a part of my growing up as lighting Hanukkah candles and fasting on Yom Kippur was the pilgrimage my mother, my grandmother and I made each summer to Beth David Cemetery in Elmont Queens.

Filed Under: Holidays | Jewish Living | Lifecycle

I'm so blessed
June 2, 2008

By Marge Eiseman
"I'm so blessed!", I whispered to the stranger sitting next to me in the theater. We were watching a new play, "Distracted" by Lisa Loomer at the Ashland Shakespeare Festival -- and it was an extraordinary experience. The stage was set as a square with seating on all four sides. The set featured groups of four flat-panel screens that were suspended from the ceiling, facing each bank of seats, all flashing different images that enhanced the dialogue (or made for some visual comedy). The furniture -- even the long kitchen counter and appliances -- were all mounted on casters and split in the middle, so the scene changes happened by characters quickly whisking things off to the corners and down the ramps.

Oh, and the play itself was about attention disorders, and the quest for diagnosis and treatment and advice. Makes sense, doesn't it? Watching the play was overwhelming, and about 2/3 of the way through, I was thinking, "I'm so glad I don't have a kid with ADD." And then I thought, "Whoa! I have a dead child, and one who had cancer, and another who has an implanted defibrillator. How can I feel so deeply blessed?"

Filed Under: Community | Lifecycle

This Is Your Brain On Age
May 29, 2008 (2 Comments)

By Rabbi Richard Address, D. Min
Baseball is a great game. Often, a lot of attention gets paid to the phenom, the "kid." As teams adjust and reality sets in, the reason returns and we often again celebrate the "crafty veteran." It seems that in baseball, as in life, wisdom trumps knowledge.

A recent piece in the New York Times titled "Older Brain Really May Be a Wiser Brain" sheds new light on the expanding research into the older adult brain. These studies are particularly meaningful for my work and our department's major program on longevity and the baby boomers (Sacred Aging). The articles points out that, as we age we take in more information, that here is more "clutter" to sift through. That information is filtered through one's life experience. Truth and falsity are filtered out and, the article says, the result of that filtering may be wisdom.

One researcher: commented that wisdom is word for what happens when the mind is able to take in data, assimilate it, and filter it into its the proper place. "If older people are taking in more information from a situation, and they're then able to combine it with their comparatively greater store of general knowledge. they're going to have a nice advantage."

Filed Under: Community | Jewish Living | Lifecycle

Work in Progess
May 20, 2008

By Jennifer Warriner

I do not think any Jewish lifecycle event will ever mean more to me than my son’s conversion to Judaism. For days afterward I walked on clouds because my son was a “member of the tribe” and would be poised to inherit the great legacy of Judaism. Only as time has passed have I fully understood the profound impact this decision would have on our family.

Zachary was just over 2 years old when my partner and I decided we would raise him as a Jew. I remembered from my own conversion that the ceremony involved saying the Sh’ma, so Zachary and I practiced until he could repeat each word after me. At the mikveh, with each dunk of Zachary and each prayer or blessing recited, I became more and more overwhelmed by my belief that his conversion to Judaism—if he took full advantage of it—would be the best gift I could ever give to him.

Filed Under: Holidays | Lifecycle

Favorite Room of the House
May 20, 2008

By Marge Eiseman

My congregation, established in 1956, is only a few months older than I am. My paternal grandparents were among the founding families, and my parents joined immediately upon moving back to Milwaukee shortly before my birth. I joined to raise my children here.

Much has changed since the days of my youth. Gone is the formal Friday evening service led by the black-robed rabbi and hidden quartet. Gone is the original ark, whose fabric curtain was donated by my grandparents. Gone, too, are most of the founding generation, but the ongoing sense of decorum and intellectual challenge lingers even now, almost 51 years later.

Filed Under: Community | Lifecycle