Reform Judaism: Lifecycle Archives

Finding Community
June 5, 2009 (2 Comments)

At a Catholic funeral Mass today for a man who gave so much to the Village of Larchmont community as a member and chief of its volunteer fire department, the priest based his homily on a passage from Luke: "Whoever seeks to save his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life will preserve it."

His message, as it related to Tommy Connell, was that Tommy often risked his life to save others. "Tommy was a giver," the priest said. Tommy gave to the community, he gave to his family, he gave love and he gave hope.

As hard as it may have been to swallow the message of eternal life in the Kingdom of Heaven, the priest's message that "we don't have enough givers" rang true. What, after all, is a life devoted to tikun olam about, if it isn't about the message that we need to live our lives involved in the world and not separate from it?

Filed Under: Community | Lifecycle

Good Broken Glass
April 1, 2009 (4 Comments)

By dcc
With an overpowering slam of my foot to a small and unsuspecting light bulb it was official -- the pop and subsequent scream of mazel tov topped off with a kiss and quick walk down the aisle meant we were married. Phew! What a wild ride it was to get to the point of this celebration. There were countless hours of planning on the phone, the Internet, using the fax and friendly courier pigeons. There were tastings and venue changes, rabbinical registration regulations and fast talking county clerks. Not to mention the cake, hotel, rehearsal dinner, airline tickets, bus rentals and photo shoots. But in the end, it was just my bride, our rabbi and me under the Chuppah (wedding canopy), surrounded by those who love us and wanted to see us take our next step together.

Lots of people asked: "Do you think you will feel different after the wedding?" in that we have lived together for more than two years. I said of course and worried personally that I wouldn't. Who knows how you are going to feel after something happens that hasn't happened yet?

Filed Under: Lifecycle

The Power of Greene
March 27, 2009 (3 Comments)

By JanetheWriter
Although my growing up years didn't include a Reform Jewish camp experience (something my parents regret to this day), I've worked at the Union for Reform Judaism long enough to know that more often than not, such experiences spawn and nurture a lifelong commitment to Jewish living, learning and celebration. Anecdotal evidence suggests, in fact, that many of today's Reform Jewish professionals and lay leaders got their start down that particular path at a Union camp.

This reality hit me in the face this past weekend when I attended the wedding of two friends who met as staff members at the Union's Greene Family Camp in Bruceville, Texas. Although the wedding was in Tulsa, Oklahoma, the bride's hometown, we might as well have been at Greene in central Texas because, without a doubt, that was the place that had brought so many of the wedding guests together and the place in their hearts that continues to hold them together -- even as they grow and change, and move in distant and distinct directions. Indeed, it is the place that, to a very large extent, made them the Jews they are today.

Filed Under: Lifecycle | Youth and Family Life

Salient Memories
March 12, 2009 (1 Comment)

By Rabbi Richard Winer
(Originally posted on Divrei Derech)

Now that I've returned from the C.C.A.R. Conference in Israel, I consider the details that rise to the surface in my recollections.

One moment keeps coming back.

The day after the conference concluded, I returned to the Old City to explore further. A couple of us wandered through the alleys enjoying the sensory experience. We wound down through the Shuk and into the Jewish Quarter. As I stood waiting while my companion poked into one of the shops, an entourage came winding along toward the Wall. I gathered that they were on their way to celebrate a Bar Mitzvah. A youth walked along under a chuppah while a man who appeared to be the proud father led the group singing.

Filed Under: Israel | Lifecycle

Do Not Abandon Shivah
March 1, 2009 (13 Comments)

by Rabbi Eric Yoffie
(Originally published in Reform Judaism magazine)
In the last 24 months, both of my parents have died. This wrenching loss was devastating--as it is for all of us who feel the terrible isolation of losing those who were the first people that we ever loved and who, more than anyone else, shaped what we were to become.

The pain is still with me, of course. But with the help of my wife and children and the support of my synagogue community, I confronted the reality of death and found the strength I needed.

Filed Under: By Rabbi Eric Yoffie | Lifecycle

D'var Acher: Freedom: An American-Jewish Struggle
February 1, 2009 (1 Comment)

by Penny M. Kessler
(Originally published in Reform Voices of Torah and Ten Minutes of Torah)
A microcosm of the differences in American and Jewish perspectives on freedom can be found in comparing typical American and Jewish coming-of-age experiences.

In American culture, sixteenth birthdays typically are celebrated by declaring independence from parental transportation with a driver's license, eighteenth birthdays by registering to vote, and twenty-first birthdays in a bar. Except for the ability and privilege of participating in the democratic process at eighteen, major American age-related life-cycle events celebrate freedom from authority.

Filed Under: Lifecycle | Torah

Priceless Moments in Teaching
January 22, 2009 (3 Comments)

By Marge Eiseman
I just had one of those priceless moments in teaching yesterday. I recently was engaged to teach 3rd grade at Congregation Emanu El B'ne Jeshurun in Milwaukee, WI, just on Wednesdays, since I am often on the road on Sundays.

It's a sweet group, seven boys and one girl, and a gentle 14-year-old madrich/assistant. We're doing what many 3rd grades do - learning the Hebrew Alef-Bet, and beginning to attend weekly prayer services where much of the prayers are in Hebrew. I make it as engaging as I can with stories and songs, but there's only so much you can do once or twice a week for two hours.

Filed Under: Lifecycle

Remembering a Giant: Arnold Jacob Wolf
December 31, 2008 (2 Comments)

by Rabbi Elliott A. Kleinman
Chief Program Officer, Union for Reform Judaism
(First published on the RACblog)
When I learned of Rabbi Arnold Wolf's death on Wednesday evening, I was overwhelmed by the loss. Arnold was my rabbi. My parents were founders of Congregation Solel in Highland Park, IL, and Arnold has been a part of every moment of my life. It was Arnold who inspired me to be a rabbi and challenged me to be a Jew, and it was Arnold who taught me how to do both.

Some of my earliest memories are of Arnold berating our congregation or our religious school class or the board of the congregation for not doing enough in the pursuit of justice. What I remember most is that we loved every moment of it. God was real and I "had better pay attention" he would remind us. "I am Adonai your God" was not a promise but a challenged to be lived up to every moment in every action.

Filed Under: Jewish Living | Lifecycle

Confirming the Diversity within Our Reform Movement
December 23, 2008 (8 Comments)

by Rabbi Paul Kipnes
Congregation Or Ami
Question: What do you get when you take four most thoughtful, compassionate, committed Jewish teens, with whom I have studied Judaism for eight to twelve years, and put them together up on the bimah at Erev Shabbat services?

Answer: A very moving Confirmation Class service.

Congregation Or Ami's service last night was deeply meaningful. Our Confirmands - Alex Krasnoff, Ross Meyer, Jonny Wixen, and Sarah Wolfson - led the prayers and in between, offered their reflections on a series of questions:

If asked by a non-Jewish person what you cherish about Judaism, what would you say?
What do you believe or think about God?
Having studied Judaism for 10-13 years, what ideas or parts of Judaism are most significant or meaningful for you?
What has Judaism taught you that will help you later in life?
How do you feel connected to Israel?
When have you felt the most Jewish and why?

Some of their responses, a picture of the diversity within our Reform Movement, include:

Filed Under: Community | Jewish Living | Lifecycle

Time to Cherish
December 16, 2008

by Marge Eiseman
I guess it always matters where we start telling our stories - does my personal story begin at my conception? Birth? First memory?

Last night, I called one of my best friends, and I was hoping that I would reach her 17 year old daughter. I just wanted to check in with her, because, in addition to the normal stress of high school seniors who are waiting to see where they will be accepted for next year, we are all dealing with her mom's new diagnosis of breast cancer.

Filed Under: Jewish Living | Lifecycle

How dcc Got the "cc" - A Family History in Motion
December 11, 2008 (16 Comments)

by dcc (and az)
First some background: Once upon a time, in a magical land known as Newton, Massachusetts a boy named Andy Cutler fell in love with a "feminist in law school" named Olivia Cohen. After years of courtship and these two high school sweethearts tied the knot at Temple Ohabei Shalom in June of 1977. Like in all fairy tales, the two lived happily ever after in a wonder-world of pluralism and progress as Andy and Olivia Cohen-Cutler. These two tradition ~~bashing~~ creating newlyweds went on to bring Donnie and his very smart and funny sister Sally into the world with this new family title. Thus the Cohen-Cutler family was created.

Jump to present day.

As you may remember from other posts, I am about to get married to a very lovely woman. We met at URJ Greene Family Camp. We both worked for the Reform Movement. We both are very liberal politically, socially and religiously. But when it comes to figuring out what to do with our last name we are having difficulty dealing with the progress from the previous generation. So in this post we are asking the Reform Jewish community for help. We have spoken to our families, to our rabbis and now we are opening the appeal to the Reform Movement at large.

Filed Under: Lifecycle

Because He Couldn't, Let Us Remember HM
December 5, 2008

By Gardening Grandma
I sometimes suspect the urge to make the world a better place is part of the DNA of every Jew, yet I recognize that it runs in the veins of people of all persuasions, often when they're not even aware of their actions.

An obit of "H.M., an Unforgettable Amnesiac," appears on the front page of this morning's New York Times. After experimental brain surgery in 1953 to correct uncontrollable seizures, he lost the ability to form new memories. And, because he and his family were willing to be the object of intensive study, the world of modern neuroscience was born.

For 55 years, each time H.M. met a friend, each time he ate a meal, each time he walked in the woods, it was as if for the first time. God's world was created anew each day for him.

Filed Under: Lifecycle | Social Action

When the Yizkor list gets long...
November 30, 2008 (3 Comments)

Out of a discussion about Yizkor and Yahrzeit; an exhibit on Dubuque's Jews...

by Karin Pritikin
Vice President, Temple Beth El, Dubuque
Project Director/Exhibit Developer-
The Alexander Levi Heritage Project

In 2007, Temple Beth El in Dubuque, an extension of two older congregations, had 27 households--and more than 400 names on its Yizkor/Yahrzeit list. Some members felt the list was too lengthy to read on the High Holidays, while others believed strongly that reading the list was a powerful way to maintain a connection to those who built Dubuque's Jewish community which, though small, still thrives.

When several of us expressed the desire to explore the creation of a Yizkor/Yahrzeit fund to honor those on the list whose families were no longer living, or in the area, it led to an interesting discovery. The impending 175th anniversary of the city's founding coincided with the 175th anniversary of the arrival of Alexander Levi, Dubuque's first Jew, the state's first naturalized citizen; and the founder, in 1857, of the city's first Jewish congregation.

Filed Under: Community | Lifecycle

Ever hear the one about the Rabbi, the minister and the bagpiper?
October 27, 2008 (3 Comments)

By Steve Arnold
I know it sounds like a corny joke, but it's the situation I had to balance recently in finally laying the ashes of my late wife to rest. In a world where more than half of all Jewish marriages are interfaith, finding a way to balance those different cultural demands is something we're all going to face.

My story starts in April when my wife Marg died suddenly. She was a believing, but non-practicing Anglican and I'm Jewish. Her relatives are hard-right Pentacostals. The funeral service and visitation were marred by some serious and bitter conflicts with her relatives over fundamental questions - Marg and I had always talked about cremation, but her relatives were horrified at the idea her body wouldn't be ready for the rapture. I would sit shiva after the funeral, but for the service itself I wanted a dignified Anglican funeral - they wanted their family pastor to preach "hell fire and damnation." Emotions ran high.

Filed Under: Jewish Living | Lifecycle

Bereshit: New Beginnings
October 25, 2008 (5 Comments)

By Andi Rosenthal
This morning, my weekly Torah study group, along with thousands of b'nei mitzvah children all over the world, began the Torah over again. The beginning comes, in my opinion, at the exact perfect moment, when the chill in the air and the gorgeous vibrant leaves and the deep azure of the Sound all bring the beauty of G-d's handiwork into sharp focus. It's as if, no matter what troubles or joys you are facing, you simply have to notice what a beautiful world we live in. And as a writer, very few narratives intrigue me as much as our sacred story of creation. Bereshit bara Elohim et hashamayim v'et ha'aretz - in the beginning, G-d created the heavens and the earth - is one of those perfect first lines - in fact, it is THE perfect first line. And I think any writer worth their keyboard would agree.

Filed Under: Jewish Living | Lifecycle | Torah

The Marriage Equality Trifecta
October 17, 2008 (4 Comments)

By Kate Bigam
(First posted on the RACBlog)
Kate Bigam is the Press Secretary at the Religious Action Center.

The fight for marriage equality is heating up in California, Florida and Arizona, states that will see November ballot initiatives to amend their state constitutions to prohibit same-sex marriage. Here's a quick update on each state's grassroots campaign to oppose these dangerous and discriminatory initiatives (including a little help from Ellen DeGeneres!) and some insight into how Reform rabbis are helping out:

Arizonans voted no on a similar measure in 2006, and now they're up against the same thing this year. Now, Vote No on Prop. 102 is seeking volunteers to help spread the word about this dangerous initiative and offering $5.00 yard signs that advertise opposition to the amendment. Reform Rabbis Helen. T Cohn (Congregation Chaverim) and Thomas A. Louchheim (Congregation Or Chadash) joined an oppositional statement with other faith leaders, saying, "This amendment is morally, religiously, and financially divisive, and would be destructive to many Arizona families."

Filed Under: Lifecycle | Social Action

Yom Kippur Minhag
October 12, 2008 (10 Comments)

By JanetheWriter
Last year on Yom Kippur, my father and I ducked out of temple following the morning service, drove down the road to the mall and--while the children's and tot services were underway--spent time browsing in Barnes and Noble, comparing notes about our most recent (and not so recent) reads, discussing what's on each of our "to read" lists and seeking out new treasures to add to those lists. Among the books we thumbed through that afternoon was Daniel Mendelsohn's The Lost, which, later in 5768, I subsequently purchased and we both read. So profound was its impact on me that I wrote about it twice for this blog--once before the read and once after.

This year, the day before erev Yom Kippur, I sent my father the following email:

Dear Daddy,

Do you want to go to Barnes and Noble again on YK afternoon the way we did last year? That's where we saw The Lost. Who knows what we might find this year!

XO,
B!

Filed Under: Community | Holidays | Lifecycle

Third Time's the Charm
October 3, 2008 (3 Comments)

By Jill Zimmerman
First posted on the RACblog
On September 6th my best friend's uncles, Dan Henkle and Steve Kawa, walked down the aisle for the third -- and finally legal -- time.

Dan and Steve first became domestic partners in 1995 and were one of the few couples personally married by San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom during the "Winter of Love" in 2004. (Steve is the Mayor's Chief of Staff.) They have shared a home in San Francisco for over 13 years and have two beautiful children, Katherine and Michael. But this September wedding was the first time the couple's commitment was legally sanctioned.

However, a California ballot initiative is threatening to take away the right for couples like Dan and Steve to be married under California state law. Proposition 8, which will be on California ballots November 4th, would amend the California State Constitution to say: "Only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California." Similar measures will be on the ballots in Florida and Arizona, and one that would prevent gay couples from adopting children will be on the ballots in Hawaii.

Filed Under: Lifecycle | Social Action

Philanthropy as a Rite of Passage
September 22, 2008 (1 Comment)

By Gardening Grandma
Every synagogue I know has some sort of "mitzvah" requirement built into the bar/bat mitzvah program. Often the mitzvah is so small--"I spent an afternoon reading to children in an after-school program!" or "I gave my old children's books to the hospital!" -- that the chance that the 13-year-old learned a lifelong lesson is pretty slim.

But today I read about Jared and Colby Kash on Jewlicious. I've no doubt that these two brothers are on their way to a lifelong habit.

What's happening in your family?

Filed Under: Community | Ethics | Lifecycle

Children of the Emek
September 21, 2008 (1 Comment)

By Larry Kaufman
For my ninth birthday, my Aunt Rebecca and Uncle Morris gave me a book hot off the presses, written by their friend Libbie Braverman, who was the principal of the Hebrew school at the Euclid Avenue Temple in Cleveland. The book was called Children of the Emek, and had emerged from Libbie's recent trip to Palestine, very shortly before trans-Atlantic travel was halted by World War II.

Children of the Emek told the story of life in Palestine under the British mandate, through the eyes of a young brother and sister who lived in Nahalal, in the Jezreel Valley (the Emek of the title).

Filed Under: Israel | Lifecycle

Moving and Memory Boxes
September 19, 2008 (2 Comments)

By Rabbi Eric Eisenkramer

I despise packing and moving. I suspect that I am not alone in this feeling. Last summer I packed every item that I own to move from Queens to Ridgefield, CT to begin serving as Rabbi of Temple Shearith Israel. I quickly remembered how much I detest the process of making boxes, figuring out what to keep and what to throw away, and trying to get everything done before the movers arrive.

Out of the dozens of boxes that I packed, I had three or four from childhood. I did not even bother to open those boxes. They stayed sealed, the movers put them on the truck, and they came with us. These are my memory boxes. They are filled with greeting cards and old art projects. Within these boxes are my kindergarten class picture, a series of letters that I wrote to a good friend from elementary school who moved away, and then there were the baseball cards. Hundreds of them. Cards that my dad bought in the 1950s and ones that I bought in the 1980s. The baseball cards are a family tradition that my dad and I share, each buying them when we were boys. My wife would rather part with the cards, but I keep reminding her that they might be valuable some day, although in truth I doubt it. The sealed memory boxes that never got opened or looked at, are currently sitting in our third bedroom, just as they sat in a storage locker in Queens before that.

Filed Under: Community | Lifecycle

What no one could tell you about losing a child
September 11, 2008 (1 Comment)

By Marge Eiseman
No one could tell us what to do. Zach's bar mitzvah was looming and even beginning to plan brought up huge pain. No matter what, big family events are a delicate balancing act, trying to find the right way to acknowledge the loss of loved ones while still finding the joy in the moment. This goes for recent losses and even the distant ones - because love and loss are inextricably linked together.

Last spring at Andy's 50th birthday party, one of our friends remarked, "That's your family - three boys and Baki's framed jersey!" and it was a strange summary statement. No one who knows us ever forgets that we lost our child, Baki, a mere three and a half years ago, but we all realize that life goes on.

Filed Under: Lifecycle

Straight or Gay, Marriage is Sacred
September 10, 2008

By JanetheWriter
Three years ago last week, the California Assembly voted to legalize same-sex marriage in the Golden State. Earlier this week, the JTA reported that on September 4, perhaps to mark this anniversary, Orthodox Jewish and Catholic leaders signed a statement that affirms that affording same-sex unions the status of marriage "dilute[s] the special standing of marriage between a man and a woman."

The signatories "hope that even those outside of our common religious traditions will recognize that we speak from the truth of human nature itself which is consistent with both reason and the moral life." Although one of the statement's signatories, Rabbi Fabian Schonfeld, chairman of the OU/RCA Joint Committee on Interreligious Affairs, and I share a religious tradition, I don't believe that he speaks from the truth of human nature and I certainly don't believe that that truth is consistent with either reason or with the moral life.

Filed Under: Ethics | Lifecycle

Tribalism, Reform Judaism, Rites and Choices
September 4, 2008 (19 Comments)

By dcc
Answer this question for me honestly: Do you, as an active Reform Jew, practice a Jewish tradition simply because that is what Jews have always done? Professor Carol Ochs writes in this week's d'var Torah that our portion teaches us that we can't "keep doing something just because we have always done it." I don't observe rituals simply because my parents do (or don't) observe them, but in all honesty my family's observance does inform my personal observance. And for that matter my community's observance plays a significant role in the formation of mine as well. But I can say with no doubt in my mind that I do not follow Jewish tradition simply because it is the way it has always been done.

So why do we continue to practice the brit mila?

Filed Under: Jewish Living | Lifecycle

An Ageless Rite of Passage
August 27, 2008 (2 Comments)

By JanetheWriter
From the matriarchs to Judith, Esther and Ruth, right up to some of the more recent pioneers in our own Movement--including Rabbis Sally Priesand, Elyse Frishman, Stacy Offner, Laura Geller and Janet Marder, among others--our tradition is filled with great Jewish women.

To this list I'd add the names Henrietta Blend, Dolores Wyde, Diana Wuntch, and Harriet Newport. Recently, these four seventy- eighty- and ninety-somethings culminated nearly a year of Jewish study and learning with a joyous b'not mitzvah celebration in an assisted living community in greater Houston.

Mazel tov and yasher koach to each of them. May they continue to go and grow from strength to strength, and, as they already have done for me, teach and inspire the rest of us along the way.

Filed Under: Community | Lifecycle

Sunday School is a Bummer
August 25, 2008 (1 Comment)

By Mary Hofmann
I went to a workshop this week aimed at giving Sunday School teachers insight into and assistance in instituting and utilizing Union's Chai Curriculum. As the only teacher from a tiny congregation (we have six to eight kids in our whole "school") I listened sadly to the tales of woe from the urban teachers. As the facilitator said, Jewish education has always been considered supplemental education--not supplemental to public school, but supplemental to what kids get at home. Sadly, it is no longer a supplement. In many, if not most, temples, Sunday School is the whole ball of wax.

What a bummer.

Filed Under: Community | Lifecycle

An Unusual Family Bar Mitzvah
August 20, 2008 (8 Comments)

By Marge Eiseman
The preparations for my youngest son's bar mitzvah celebration are getting underway. I am not feeling stressed about it, nor will we spend a fortune (that we don't have). Here's a peek at some of the process.

We are admittedly an unusual family -- we began our preparations over a year ago, and never hired a party planner, a caterer or a disc jockey. I think the first thing Zach and I did was read through the Torah portion together, Shofetim, to see which section Zach wanted to read. He saw the most famous verse, "Tzedek, tzedek tirdof" (Justice, justice shall you pursue), and owned it!

Filed Under: Lifecycle

A Special Rabbi
August 12, 2008 (1 Comment)

The Special Rabbi By Elise May
My family and I recently came together for a weekend of celebration in Memphis, TN. Cousins and close family friends that I hadn't seen in years flew in from around the country. What was the occasion? My parents were celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary! Such a joyous event that is almost unheard of today.

The Rabbi who married my parents has passed away, and, since their small congregation disbanded a few years ago, my parents don't really have a Rabbi they can call their own. However, my father began corresponding with a Rabbi in Memphis some time ago.

Filed Under: Community | Lifecycle

Jewish Teaching Begins at Home
August 7, 2008 (5 Comments)

By JanetheWriter
Recently, my college roommate called me for some advice. Her 12-year-old son had been invited to the bat mitzvah of a classmate and she didn't have a clue about what he should wear or what type of gift would be appropriate.

As one of only a handful of Jews he knows, I was excited for Matthew. B'nei mitzvah are meaningful and fun and, as a young man who is well-versed in the rites and rituals of the Catholic Church, this would be a great learning experience for him.

Filed Under: Community | Lifecycle

Keep the simcha simple
June 26, 2008 (2 Comments)

By Mary Hofmann
While I enjoyed reading the many perspectives of the contributors to Reform Judaism this month, I was truly saddened by the plight of Elise Silverfield May and those in her situation (which includes a whole lot of us, on a lot of levels!)--the perceived high price tag of being Jewish (page 61 or online here).

Her particular alarm rang concerning the temple members' expectations around her son's upcoming bar mitzvah, which were terrifyingly grandiose. This concern connects well with Rabbi Yoffie's comments at the Biennial regarding congregants reclaiming Shabbat morning services from the grip of private "parties." If we don't want Reform Judaism to become increasingly about status and wealth, I believe this problem needs to be addressed both in terms of reclaiming both the sanctuary and the sanctity of the event. I guess it has to do with the values established at each congregation--and all of our opportunities (and obligations?) to revision those values regularly.

Filed Under: Jewish Living | Lifecycle | Shabbat | The Future

For the Sake of a Namesake: L'dor v'dor
June 23, 2008 (1 Comment)

By JanetheWriter
A few months ago, during an informal visit in my apartment from my parents, my sister and my nephew Ian, I was stretched out on the living room floor and Ian, as five-year-olds are want to do, was walking on my back and climbing all over me. When his weight hit a spot that made my back crack, I groaned, "Oh, Ian, just call me your personal Uncle Irv," before squirming out from under all 40-something pounds of him.

"Like mother, like son...like aunt, like nephew," I thought.

Filed Under: Community | Lifecycle

Where are we?
June 19, 2008

By Rabbi Richard Address
In developing our project on the aging of the baby boomers (Sacred Aging) a host of questions have emerged. Many have to do with how we, given the gift, we pray, of longevity, can continue to answer God's question of Genesis 3: "where are you?" (ayecha) So, I decided to try and start a small dialogue on our blog about these issues.

Filed Under: Lifecycle

Contemplating Mortality
June 18, 2008

By Gardening Grandma web garden.jpg
I suspect I'm not alone in finding myself looking my own mortality more squarely in the face because of Tim Russert's untimely death. As the outpouring of emotion and tributes attest, he died doing something he absolutely loved. He clearly relished his work, making each moment he was on air count, but he also made sure there were plenty of moments for his private life.

How often have you heard someone say, "That's the way I want to go," when they hear about someone who was here one moment, and then, suddenly, is not in the world any more?

Filed Under: Lifecycle

Of Covenantal and Other Special Relationships
June 17, 2008 (3 Comments)

By JanetheWriter
Last week, I drafted--and ultimately scraped--a post for this blog because after it was written, I came to realize that not only was it much too personal for the vast world of cyberspace, but also, because I wrote it in anger after someone challenged my belief in the Jews' covenantal relationship with God, I wanted to give myself some time to reflect on what I was saying.

Then I read the article in the New York Times quoting a letter from Abraham Foxman to Pastor John Hagee in which Foxman writes, "We look forward to meeting with you to promote a dialogue between Christians and Jews based on mutual respect, reconciliation and the recognition of God's eternal covenant with the Jewish people." Since Foxman raised the covenantal issue with Hagee, I've reconsidered my scraped post and, after a lot of thinking, I'm giving it another shot:

Filed Under: Jewish Living | Lifecycle | The Future

The Universe sent me a Shabbat message
June 16, 2008 (3 Comments)

By Wendy Nelson

My daughter graduated from high school Saturday. The weather changed from cold and rainy to a sunny 80 degree day. The plague of cicadas awaited for 17 years and due to arrive by now were yet to emerge from the ground. I arrived early and got a front row seat knowing that I could not miss seeing my beloved child on this special day. It was Shabbat and all was right.

Filed Under: Community | Holidays | Jewish Living | Lifecycle | Shabbat

Honoring our Fathers and Mothers
June 15, 2008 (1 Comment)

By JanetheWriter

A short piece on the editorials and letters page in Friday's New York Times suggests that according to the National Trust for Historic Preservation, "the Lower East Side is one of the 11 most endangered places in America..." The article mentions several neighborhood landmarks, including The Eldridge Street Synagogue which, following a recently completed multi-million dollar restoration is now known as the Museum at Eldridge Street.

Dating from 1887 and widely known to be the first synagogue built "from scratch" in America by Eastern European Jews, the continuously operational Eldridge Street Synagogue is an architectural, cultural and historical gem. This Sunday's "Egg Rolls and Egg Creams" Festival celebrates the rich heritage and history of the immigrants--Jewish, Chinese, Italian, and others--for whom the neighborhood was the "Plymouth Rock" in their pilgrimage to America. Indeed, it was so for my grandparents, and on this Father's Day weekend, it is most fitting to honor them--our grandmothers and our grandfathers--for their moxie in making the journey and ensuring a better life for us all.

Filed Under: Community | Holidays | Lifecycle

New Pioneers of Israel
June 13, 2008 (2 Comments)

By Rabbi Stacey Blank
In Israel, even in Reform synagogues, most of the kids who have an aliyah to the Torah when they turn 13 are boys. There are very few girls. It is still not common for girls to have an aliyah to the Torah in Israel (though everyone has a party!). In a country where women fought side-by-side the men in the 1948 War of Independence, where women hold important positions in government, and where women run major corporations, it is hard to believe that girls by and large are not encouraged to enter the religious sphere.

Filed Under: Holidays | Israel | Lifecycle

A New Window in Time
June 12, 2008 (3 Comments)

By Barbara K. Shuman
Having reached the age of 62, I thought I had experienced most Jewish life-cycle events: my own confirmation and marriage, the birth of children, brit milah and pidyon haben for our son, bar and bat mitzvah of our children, the death of a parent and grandparents, and the marriage of our daughter. However, last weekend I added another to the list - the naming of our first grandchild. Like many young adults, her parents are not yet affiliated with a synagogue. They identify as Jews, but shun established institutions.

They waited until she was 9 months old to create their own ritual. I think it was worth the wait.

Filed Under: Lifecycle | The Future

Economics of Equal Rights
June 10, 2008 (1 Comment)

By dcc
A few weeks ago--even if they didn't know it--the seven California Supreme Court justices gave the state a much needed economic booster shot. The Golden State, often a bellwether of social and economic trends throughout the US, is feeling the pinch of the credit and housing collapse. However due to the Court's ruling on the unconstitutional ban on same-sex marriage, the State's economy may see a finacial upswing, reports NPR's Morning Edition.

California has been working with a major budget deficit for years and the millions of GLBT couples who wish to get married (and spend $684 million dollars on these weddings) may add as much at $64 million to the state budget, closing the gap between the red and green in California.

Who knew equality could help the economy?

Filed Under: Lifecycle

Brilliance of Yizkor
June 10, 2008 (1 Comment)

By Marge Eiseman
This Shabbat, we will observe my mom's 17th yahrzeit and then on Monday morning, I'll be saying kaddish for her again at the Yizkor service on the festival of Shavuot. Yizkor means remember. What could be more important than that?

I attended a session on "How to Talk to Your Children about God and Death" on a recent Sunday morning at Congregation Sinai. In the room with me were two women whose husbands had died, leaving them young widows with children, and besides myself, there were at least one or two other bereaved parents. There were people who referred to the death of their own siblings or parents, and yet none of them ever attend the Yizkor services that occur during the year. I don't even know if they attend on Yom Kippur afternoon, but it's the most likely one if they do.

Filed Under: Community | Lifecycle

Marking Jewish Time
June 6, 2008 (5 Comments)

By JanetheWriter
Today is the 47th day of the counting of the omer. And, although I do not possess David A.M. Wilensky's "hyper-awareness of Jewish time," I do, in my own way, mark Jewish time.

As much a part of my growing up as lighting Hanukkah candles and fasting on Yom Kippur was the pilgrimage my mother, my grandmother and I made each summer to Beth David Cemetery in Elmont Queens.

Filed Under: Holidays | Jewish Living | Lifecycle

I'm so blessed
June 2, 2008

By Marge Eiseman
"I'm so blessed!", I whispered to the stranger sitting next to me in the theater. We were watching a new play, "Distracted" by Lisa Loomer at the Ashland Shakespeare Festival -- and it was an extraordinary experience. The stage was set as a square with seating on all four sides. The set featured groups of four flat-panel screens that were suspended from the ceiling, facing each bank of seats, all flashing different images that enhanced the dialogue (or made for some visual comedy). The furniture -- even the long kitchen counter and appliances -- were all mounted on casters and split in the middle, so the scene changes happened by characters quickly whisking things off to the corners and down the ramps.

Oh, and the play itself was about attention disorders, and the quest for diagnosis and treatment and advice. Makes sense, doesn't it? Watching the play was overwhelming, and about 2/3 of the way through, I was thinking, "I'm so glad I don't have a kid with ADD." And then I thought, "Whoa! I have a dead child, and one who had cancer, and another who has an implanted defibrillator. How can I feel so deeply blessed?"

Filed Under: Community | Lifecycle

This Is Your Brain On Age
May 29, 2008 (2 Comments)

By Rabbi Richard Address, D. Min
Baseball is a great game. Often, a lot of attention gets paid to the phenom, the "kid." As teams adjust and reality sets in, the reason returns and we often again celebrate the "crafty veteran." It seems that in baseball, as in life, wisdom trumps knowledge.

A recent piece in the New York Times titled "Older Brain Really May Be a Wiser Brain" sheds new light on the expanding research into the older adult brain. These studies are particularly meaningful for my work and our department's major program on longevity and the baby boomers (Sacred Aging). The articles points out that, as we age we take in more information, that here is more "clutter" to sift through. That information is filtered through one's life experience. Truth and falsity are filtered out and, the article says, the result of that filtering may be wisdom.

One researcher: commented that wisdom is word for what happens when the mind is able to take in data, assimilate it, and filter it into its the proper place. "If older people are taking in more information from a situation, and they're then able to combine it with their comparatively greater store of general knowledge. they're going to have a nice advantage."

Filed Under: Community | Jewish Living | Lifecycle

Work in Progess
May 20, 2008

By Jennifer Warriner

I do not think any Jewish lifecycle event will ever mean more to me than my son’s conversion to Judaism. For days afterward I walked on clouds because my son was a “member of the tribe” and would be poised to inherit the great legacy of Judaism. Only as time has passed have I fully understood the profound impact this decision would have on our family.

Zachary was just over 2 years old when my partner and I decided we would raise him as a Jew. I remembered from my own conversion that the ceremony involved saying the Sh’ma, so Zachary and I practiced until he could repeat each word after me. At the mikveh, with each dunk of Zachary and each prayer or blessing recited, I became more and more overwhelmed by my belief that his conversion to Judaism—if he took full advantage of it—would be the best gift I could ever give to him.

Filed Under: Holidays | Lifecycle

Favorite Room of the House
May 20, 2008

By Marge Eiseman

My congregation, established in 1956, is only a few months older than I am. My paternal grandparents were among the founding families, and my parents joined immediately upon moving back to Milwaukee shortly before my birth. I joined to raise my children here.

Much has changed since the days of my youth. Gone is the formal Friday evening service led by the black-robed rabbi and hidden quartet. Gone is the original ark, whose fabric curtain was donated by my grandparents. Gone, too, are most of the founding generation, but the ongoing sense of decorum and intellectual challenge lingers even now, almost 51 years later.

Filed Under: Community | Lifecycle